People in society hold different view toward celebrities. While for some people it may be really intresting, for other people there is no difference between a famous person and an ordinary person. Meanwhile, the importance of famous people is more agreeable in young people in society. Young children are more attracted to celebrities because they have more superficial look and they follow these kinds of news more frequently. There are several reasons for this point of view. The most outstanding reasons will be explicated hereunder.
To begin with, looking more superficially to people, can be regarded as a persuasive reason to be explained. Young people have less experience in their lives. Thus, they think everything they see from outside of a person is true but the point is that they are not aware of their real life and difficulties. To give an illustration, when a young people look at a famous person's relationships and read about their life in magazines, he likes to be like them because they demonstrate a perfect and ideal life style in social media. Nevertheless, old people are more experienced, and they know that real life is completely different from what you see in TV and magazines. Hence, they do rely less on famous people and the way they look at a famous people is more like the way they look at an ordinary people.
Another point which is equally significant, if not more, is that young people follow the news of celebrities more often. When it repeats daily, it makes them get involved more in their life, and unconsciously they addicted to reading news about them. For instance, my own experience is a compelling example of this issue. I can recall when I follow a celebrity called Sadaf Beauty who was very famous in Instagram. I always watched her posts and saw her stories, and after a while, I get used to check his posts everyday. She and her life gradually become more and more important to me and I had kind of an addiction about that. On the contrary, my parents even did not know her at all because they do not have an Instagram account and they are not involved in these social media.
All details considered, I am convinced that young people are more attracted to legendary people. However, this fact might not be overgeneralized to all conditions. Young people due to the fact that they seek more in the internet and they have less experience to know the real actions and unreal actions of famous people, they may think that celebrities are very important. This is why I am of this opinion, and I think experts should contemplate this issue rigorously because the it may have negative consequences for young people in society.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 489, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[5]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'used to checking'.
Suggestion: used to checking
...w her stories, and after a while, I get used to check his posts everyday. She and her life gr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 513, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... a while, I get used to check his posts everyday. She and her life gradually become more...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 597, Rule ID: KIND_OF_A[1]
Message: Don't include 'an' after a classification term. Use simply 'kind of'.
Suggestion: kind of
...more and more important to me and I had kind of an addiction about that. On the contrary, ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 477, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'it'?
Suggestion: the; it
...ntemplate this issue rigorously because the it may have negative consequences for youn...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, really, so, thus, while, for instance, i think, kind of, on the contrary, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2218.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 462.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80086580087 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72461906217 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45670995671 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 704.7 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.2026848867 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.4347826087 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0869565217 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95652173913 5.45110844103 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218768829654 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0721825869136 0.076458572812 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0491893910598 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147709886473 0.150856017488 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0328314334979 0.0645574589148 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.