Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Opinions of young celebrities are more attentively heard, even believed, by the younger people than by the older people, who often have their own role models apart. On occasions, it is amusing for the general public to listen to what famous stars have to say, but what is said could sometimes turn out to be particularly not in favor of the more naive people. Too often, opinions from celebrities could be harmful to young people's mental and financial health, to say the least.
Unlike the older people, the younger people admire and want to imitate 'notorious' celebrities whose remarks, however out of the common, are readily taken for granted. This could affect them negatively due to their lack of mental maturity to follow bad rather than good examples. Apparently, it is not only the words but also the deeds of those 'role models' that are not doing any good for the mentality of the younger people. Today, television and the Internet have generated tremendous exposure for a number of elite stars who stand for partying, drug abuse, drunk driving, rapid marriage and rapid divorce, and on and on. Most teenagers and young adults, who tend to attach importance to celebrities' opinions, actually become other people since their thoughts are celebrities' thoughts spoken in the spotlight. Fortunately, it seems that the older people are easily getting tired of celebrity overload and do not pay so much attention to scandals.
Young celebrities' opinions could become a persuasion in advertising, thereby affecting young consumers' pockets. Very famous personalities in the fields of pop music, cinema and sports, are being hired to give positive comments about products and services that have little or nothing to do with their professions. Nowadays, companies all over the world are using celebrities to orally promote sales of anything from fast food to young fashion to fancy car. Under the influence of what is called 'celebrity testimonials', the younger population, rather than the older population, are encouraged to buy things they really do not need and spend money they actually do not have. That is, a celebrity works as a convincing sales-speaker through the image of strong role model among the younger generation. Usually, the older generation would not entirely trust products and services endorsed by celebrities.
To do justice to all shining stars in the galaxy of fame, probably they have the freedom to voice their opinions of whatever kind, so it is up to people both young and old to evaluate what is said and done. However, it is always advisable for the younger people not to follow celebrities' opinions blindly. It is one thing to hear celebrities breaking the mold; but it is quite another to know if they are degrading good social and family values.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 202, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...rt. On occasions, it is amusing for the general public to listen to what famous stars have to ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... financial health, to say the least. Unlike the older people, the younger peo...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...pay so much attention to scandals. Young celebrities opinions could becom...
^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd services endorsed by celebrities. To do justice to all shining stars in th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, apparently, but, however, if, really, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 43.0788530466 53% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2336.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 463.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04535637149 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64000867379 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535637149028 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 734.4 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 38.1024042532 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.777777778 100.406767564 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7222222222 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.11111111111 5.45110844103 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207613488381 0.236089414692 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0691700819113 0.076458572812 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0478883200924 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135650062781 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00968794791153 0.0645574589148 15% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 11.7677419355 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.