Tpo 46. The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.

There is no misgiving that nowadays, especial persons play the pivotal role in people's lives. A controversial question which is often raised concerning this issue is that which opinions one are important for people: celebreties' opinions or older people's advice. Some people may hold this viewpoint that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Nevertheless, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that older people's opinions are more important than celebrities' ideas. From my own perspective, the first belief is true for some conspicuous reasons which are pinpointed and elaborated in the following paragraphs.
One of the reasons coming to mind at first is that celebrities have the same age as younger people. People at the same age have the same inclinations. This bias in people makes young generation to follow ideas or thoughts of reknown people rather than older people even though it might not ideal or perfect. Take younger appearance in my city as an tangible example. As always I can see in the street, buses, trains, universitis and other communal places, younger hair style is the same as one of famous athlete who is a great succer not only in my city but also in the country. Even, on TV shows this predominant style is discernable. As you can see, celebrities opinions are more important to younger people than older one.

Another equally important reason is that technology has an important contribution to the idea. Younger people all are computer-literate which means all of them are connected with each other. That means younger generation can follow celebrities and even chat with them easily. Take social networks as an easy example. Almost every young, even children, know how to use this kind of communication. On the other hand, older people either do not know about them or are not free enough to spend time on social networks. That means opinions of celebrities are more accessable to younger because of technology.

To wrap it up, it is my deep belief that the oppinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than they are to older people despite the fact that this may not be ideal. Not only are celebrities young as well as younger generation but they also are more connected with younger people thoruhg technology. All in all, it is anticipated that in future this priority of celebrities' opinions cause some inevitable and unfroseen problems.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 346, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
.... Take younger appearance in my city as an tangible example. As always I can see i...
^^
Line 4, column 104, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Younger) must be used with a third-person verb: 'peoples'.
Suggestion: peoples
...rtant contribution to the idea. Younger people all are computer-literate which means a...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, may, nevertheless, so, well, kind of, such as, as well as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 15.1003584229 172% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2098.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 415.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05542168675 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79272222584 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.457831325301 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 672.3 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.5735034299 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.3636363636 100.406767564 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8636363636 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.27272727273 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.409862023558 0.236089414692 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.12534706132 0.076458572812 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.152367374233 0.0737576698707 207% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.267566245281 0.150856017488 177% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109954893504 0.0645574589148 170% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.