TPO- 54 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

TPO- 54 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Which one do you think is more important for each society? Arts or sports? In the contemporary world, sports not only are considered as important as arts but also their budget surpassed others’. Answering the question of whether authorities should spend more money on arts than sports can provoke imminent controversies owing to a variety of factors contributing to the formation of a multidimensional viewpoint involving careful analysis. A number of people are in the conviction that athletes are renowned among people with different backgrounds; therefore, governments should allocate most of their budget to sports. Their supposition is at odds with some others' from another camp embracing the view that although sports are fun and have many advantages, governments should consider a higher priority for arts than sports because art is an essential aspect of each society and nationality; in fact, from my vantage point, the latter carries more weight. Reasons directing me toward this belief are manifold, but two conspicuous of which are: arts is a good representation each culture and history, and it can be both amusement and financially beneficial, upon which I elaborated the following paragraphs.

First and foremost, one cogent reason corroborating my deduction is that art represents each country's culture and history. Throughout the history, humans have been demonstrating their beliefs and important events by means of painting, sculpture, and so forth. Thus, one can learn about the country's history only by analyzing their arts existed from ancient times. It can be exemplified by referring to my personal experience of visiting Italy last summer. I had read many articles and books about Romans’ Empire before visiting Italy, but I figured out how enormous it was and how rich their culture while visiting historical places and art works in person. Ergo, it can be readily confirmed that arts are an essential part of each culture. Hence, governments must spend a considerable amount of money in preserving the arts and representing them to the world.

The second compelling reason deserving some words here is that governments can benefit from arts economically. One can find culture in art works such as paintings, statues, and so on. Tourists from all around the globe tend to visit countries having rich culture and history. As tourism is a highly profitable, governments can earn a tremendous amount of money by investing in the arts. For instance, my country, Iran, is a historical country with a large amount of oil. A research conducted by researchers at Amirkabir University of Technology two years ago indicated that the Iranian government can eliminate its dependency on oil in three years by investing four thousand dollars in arts. thus, investing in arts undoubtedly affect country’s economy positively.

All in all, if the above discussion is contemplated, it can be concluded that even though it is nice to support athletes to obtain precious medals, governments should concentrate on arts. Moreover, people benefit from arts directly both financially and morally. As a result, it is vital to spend as much money as possible on art.

Votes
Average: 9 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 211, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
...udget surpassed others'. Answering the question of whether authorities should spend more money on ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 763, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sports are fun and have many advantages, governments should consider a higher pri...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...aborated the following paragraphs. First and foremost, one cogent reason co...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 693, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...nvesting four thousand dollars in arts. thus, investing in arts undoubtedly affect c...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, moreover, second, so, therefore, thus, while, as to, for instance, in fact, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2700.0 1977.66487455 137% => OK
No of words: 506.0 407.700716846 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33596837945 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7428307748 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02054459285 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 277.0 212.727598566 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54743083004 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 832.5 618.680645161 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.8404812191 48.9658058833 151% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.5 100.406767564 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0833333333 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.20833333333 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.182559132647 0.236089414692 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0524156754832 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0391997611012 0.0737576698707 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115621599227 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0465984024154 0.0645574589148 72% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.69 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 86.8835125448 162% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.