TPO- 54 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, hectic modern life brings about more needs of entertainment worldwide, so arts and sports are suitable solutions for this high demand. In my opinion, sports play more vital roles in society, so governments should devote more money to them than the arts. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explain in the following essay.
First of all, sports have notable effects on society's health improvements. When people of society realize that the government will financially support athletes, the rate of the individuals who put their efforts on growing their child as a professional sportsman will rise. Therefore, after a while, the new generation will become much healthier than their parents and their grandparents, due to doing more exercise and healthy behaviors which sportsperson do. For example, when my uncle was a child, he always wanted to become a soccer player, but my grandparents never let him. My grandfather always thought if my uncle became a soccer player, he could never afford his expenses because, in those days, the governments did not pay attention to sports but to scientific issues. Consequently, my uncle has serious diseases now by quitting exercising. However, if my grandparents knew that he would have a better future job opportunity in sports, they might allow him to become an athlete, and he would be much healthier than he is now. As a result, the governments by supporting athletes and sports can motivate families to raise their kids as skillful athletes, and that lead the society to become much healthier.
Secondly, the number of people who will enjoy the national sports team's matches are much higher than the people who like to see art galleries. That is, individuals will be more delightful and entertained when they watch television and see how their national team wins the game. For instance, when I was a college student, we had a photo exhibition. Although we tried our best to inspire people to visit our gallery, there were a slight number of them who showed up during it. In contrast, when our national volleyball team won a crucial game against its competitor, numerous people in the streets came to encourage them. I have never seen people this happy in my whole life. In consequence, sports teams can satisfy individuals more than art, so they are a better choice for investing the money of the government.
In conclusion, spending money on the government on athletics is a more suitable choice than devoting it to art. I believe this way because this financial support will provide a better atmosphere in society in which parents will bring up their children as professional athletes, which can increase the societies health in the long-term. Moreover, the majority of people in society prefer to watch sports competitions and enjoy them more than art galleries.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 302, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'societies'' or 'society's'?
Suggestion: societies'; society's
...sional athletes, which can increase the societies health in the long-term. Moreover, the ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in contrast, as a result, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2381.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 471.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05520169851 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65859790218 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77880471999 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526539278132 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 713.7 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.6319112561 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.380952381 100.406767564 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4285714286 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.14285714286 5.45110844103 168% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.134967494847 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0458861109682 0.076458572812 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0555038136336 0.0737576698707 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0963256673718 0.150856017488 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0401728885684 0.0645574589148 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.