TPO 54- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.
With the continuous development of society, arts and athletics have been playing two significant roles in residents' daily life. When it comes to whether the government should spend more money on arts or sports, some individuals support spending more money on arts with their personal views. As far as I am concerned, I think athletics deserve more government funding than arts. To substantiate my point of view, two reasons are being explored in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, distributing more funds to physical exercises such as state-sponsored Olympic teams or games is benefit for the economic developments and international reputation of the country. To be more specific, more countries are now willing to acquire the right to hold the Olympic Games which are held every four years and include many different kind of fascinating competition items. In order to hold the Olympic Games successfully, the government of state needs to spend plenty of money to build the stadiums, train the coaches as well as advertise their advantages to hold the contests. After a large deal of preparation and publicity, numerous wonderful sports events would attract a couple of tourists to come to watch those excellent competitions or just take a trip in Olympic cities. Under this circumstance, a host of visitors would pay for the tickets to watch the matches, buy some local souvenirs and travel to renowned places in the country so that they would greatly increase the local economic benefits than investing little money to athletics. On the other hand, if the state could host a unparalleled game combine with distinctive elements, their international popularity and influence would certainly improve because the Olympic Games brought a profound impression to audiences all over the world. Therefore, spending more money to support of athletics not only bring economic interests of entire state but also enhance their international influence.
What is more, allocating more funds to the constructions of sports would help strengthen the physical fitness of the whole nation. If the governments disburse a lot of expenditures to build new stadiums and facilities which pretty convenient for citizens to use, both adults and children are willing to join these activities to exercise their bodies. By regularly using these government-built fitness machines, either the body or the spirit of the people have get much relaxation from daily pressures of the occupation or study. In this case, individuals would possess a better mental state to commit to their careers so that they would achieve a great deal of accomplishments and contribute more to the progress of the community eventually. Hence, the governments should spend more money on physical exercises, both for the health of the residents and the development of the state.
To sum up, from what has been discussed above, we may reach the conclusion that the governments are supposed to spend more money to support athletics because it could drive economic growth and to some extent and enhance people's physical fitness. After all, what is good for mankind is eternal.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 194, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...nternational reputation of the country. To be more specific, more countries are no...
^^
Line 2, column 337, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...h are held every four years and include many different kind of fascinating competition items. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1109, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...the other hand, if the state could host a unparalleled game combine with distinct...
^
Line 3, column 460, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'got', 'gotten'.
Suggestion: got; gotten
...e body or the spirit of the people have get much relaxation from daily pressures of...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, may, so, then, therefore, well, after all, i think, kind of, such as, as well as, to begin with, to sum up, what is more, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 52.1666666667 140% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2629.0 1977.66487455 133% => OK
No of words: 501.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24750499002 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73107062784 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92289728055 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536926147705 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 816.3 618.680645161 132% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 58.9389724133 48.9658058833 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.055555556 100.406767564 145% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8333333333 20.6045352989 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.94444444444 5.45110844103 164% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311901866123 0.236089414692 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0967389090443 0.076458572812 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0849904815262 0.0737576698707 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192368866445 0.150856017488 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0788693419009 0.0645574589148 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 11.7677419355 146% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 10.9000537634 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.04 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 86.8835125448 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.