TPO17(independent)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are.
As companies regard advertisements as an essential part of their work in order to gain more money, it is a highly debated issue whether or not nowadays, advertisements are being produced in such a way that they make products seem much better than what they really are. Actually, this topic can be approached from several angles due to its complexity. While some people tend to think that not all the products are showed off through advertisements, others seem to disagree with it. Deeply deliberating over the issue, I believe that most of the advertisements have a sense of exaggeration behind them and following discussions reveal my stand and reasoning.
To commence, my first subtle point requires to be mentioned is that as advertisement contributes to companies profit, seldom do they accept to introduce their real product. Consequently, Most of them just stick to the pros of any products they produced and do not discuss the cons of them at all. Moreover, many factories not only do not discuss the probable negative features of their products but also tried to deceive their viewers by using flashy lights in order to attract consumers. To illustrate, a large number of companies hire some expert photographers to take beautiful pictures from their products. When using that flashy pictures in advertisement it is hard for people to distinguish reality from fantasy and in that way they decide to buy that products based on what they have seen not what the product actually is.
Other substantial reason that can be taken into consideration is that, today it is very routine to see celebrities on television acting in an advertisement. Obviously, they are not the actual consumers of that specific product and they just say whatever the manager of the company wants them to say, therefore their dialouges are not trustable. The only target of using celebrities in advertisement is to persuade consumers buy the product and in that way mislead people.
To recapitulate briefly, based on the aforementioned testimonies, I am of opinion that usually companies make use of advertisements in a deceptively way and they are reluctant to tell the truth about their products. This is not to say, of course, that other points of view are completely unacceptable. However, I think my reasons are stronger.
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many factories not only do not discuss the probable negative features of their products but also tried to
Description: don't use 'not only..not...'. You can use 'neither...nor' or 'either...or'
Sentence: To commence, my first subtle point requires to be mentioned is that as advertisement contributes to companies profit, seldom do they accept to introduce their real product.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to companies and profit
Sentence: Obviously, they are not the actual consumers of that specific product and they just say whatever the manager of the company wants them to say, therefore their dialouges are not trustable.
Error: dialouges Suggestion: dialogues
Error: trustable Suggestion: No alternate word
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 381 350
No. of Characters: 1889 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.418 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.958 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.953 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.938 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5