TPO40Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think it is a good idea | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

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TPO40Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think it is a good idea?

Money is a double edged sword. Either you can use it in aright way or a in a wrong way. Personally, I believe that children should be given money from their parents for each mark they earned in the exam. I feel this way for two important reasons,which I will explore in the following essay.

To begin with, when the children take money,they will encourage them to do another things. As they will also make them studying more to gain more money. Therefore,they will do many things that help them to take money easily and they can buy what they love. My own experience is a good illustration of this. When I was at high school ,my parents told me that If I got high marks on the exams they will give me money to buy anything I want. This was really a great encouragement for me to study more and more because I wanted to buy a new phone and also to register for my driver's license. So I passed the test and got high mark and I bought what I love. In addition,I entered the faculty of pharmacy and my parents were so proud of me. Therefore by taking money as an encouragement makes me and my parents happy.

Furthermore,you can learn how to manage your money. If you used to take money from your family,you would learn how to save it and when to spend it in a right situation.Consequently,you will be a good financial analyst in the future. My own experience is a convincing evidence of this. I used to take money from my parents when I was nine years old. In addition to,they taught me how to spend this money. Therefore this have kept me updated how to save and manage my money which had an effect on me in the future. So by saving money,I opened my private business that has helped me a lot in my living. This experience taught me that I can give my child money to encourage him to manage his money.

In conclusion,I believe that offering money for children when they get high marks is a good idea. This because you will be encouraged to do more and more and you will learn how to manage your money. So,everyone should use money in a useful way.

Votes

Essay reference notes: This topic is refereed from another essay topic, developed by user: mahdi.sdt

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 71, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... Either you can use it in aright way or a in a wrong way. Personally, I believe t...
^
Line 1, column 73, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a wrong way" with adverb for "wrong"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ither you can use it in aright way or a in a wrong way. Personally, I believe that children sh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 191, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... their parents for each mark they earned in the exam. I feel this way for two imp...
^^
Line 1, column 247, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
... feel this way for two important reasons,which I will explore in the following essay. ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 44, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
...begin with, when the children take money,they will encourage them to do another thing...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 92, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ll encourage them to do another things. As they will also make them studying more ...
^^
Line 3, column 163, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
...dying more to gain more money. Therefore,they will do many things that help them to t...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 333, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ation of this. When I was at high school ,my parents told me that If I got high ma...
^^
Line 3, column 571, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... a new phone and also to register for my drivers license. So I passed the test an...
^^
Line 3, column 666, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , I
...rk and I bought what I love. In addition,I entered the faculty of pharmacy and my ...
^^
Line 3, column 737, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...acy and my parents were so proud of me. Therefore by taking money as an encouragement mak...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 12, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , you
... me and my parents happy. Furthermore,you can learn how to manage your money. If ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 95, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , you
... you used to take money from your family,you would learn how to save it and when to ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 169, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Consequently
...d when to spend it in a right situation.Consequently,you will be a good financial analyst in...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 181, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , you
...end it in a right situation.Consequently,you will be a good financial analyst in the...
^^^^
Line 5, column 364, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , they
...hen I was nine years old. In addition to,they taught me how to spend this money. Ther...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 405, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...they taught me how to spend this money. Therefore this have kept me updated how to save a...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 532, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , I
... on me in the future. So by saving money,I opened my private business that has hel...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to encourage him to manage his money. In conclusion,I believe that offering mo...
^^^
Line 7, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , I
...m to manage his money. In conclusion,I believe that offering money for childre...
^^
Line 7, column 202, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , everyone
... will learn how to manage your money. So,everyone should use money in a useful way.
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 229, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a useful way" with adverb for "useful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...our money. So,everyone should use money in a useful way.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, furthermore, if, really, so, therefore, another thing, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 79.0 43.0788530466 183% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1668.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 387.0 407.700716846 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.31007751938 4.8611393121 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68687135673 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.43669250646 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 536.4 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.8484566452 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 69.5 100.406767564 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.125 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.16666666667 5.45110844103 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 22.0 5.5376344086 397% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.283975339339 0.236089414692 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.091734109146 0.076458572812 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0899717137205 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.204798715109 0.150856017488 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0663122168062 0.0645574589148 103% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.9 11.7677419355 59% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.42 10.9000537634 68% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.76 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 86.8835125448 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.