TPO46 independent
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Walking on the street, we can often see youngsters talking about celebrities - their new releases, news and scandals, or intimating their styles from top to the bottom. Thus, some argue that the opinions of celebrities are more important to younger people than they are to the elderly. I fundamentally agree with this view because the young generation, especially teenagers, are more likely to patronize stars and therefore value their opinions.
To begin with, many youngsters have their own favorite idols. This is because that they are open-minded to new trends and tend to follow such trends. Teenagers are always seeking out for fun and new thrills because their daily routine - sitting in the small classroom studying for difficult and boring subjects - is exhausting and they need to relax. Entertainment, such as movies, pop music, or sports games, are prevailing among young people and it is naturally for them to appreciate the actors, singers, or athletes participating in them, even though sometimes the appreciation is not out of their free wills but of peer pressure - to be cool and stay connected to their friends. Growing up in my community, whether it is in the school or in the neighborhood, I always have the fear of being considered outdated by my peers once I did not watch the trending TV drama or concerning about the upcoming basketball games. By contrast, most elder people hardly have so much passion toward a celebrity, since they have tons of works to do, from making money to taking care of their family.
Moreover, young people are in a stage where they are susceptible to others' opinions, to the views of celebrities they admire in particular. They usually depend on the advice of elder and more mature people to make a decision because they have not yet gained enough knowledge and experience to give their own judgement. For example, instead of carefully comparing the quality and price of similar products with different brands, teenagers would simply prefer the one endorsed by a famous person because they believe more in his image and reputation than in the facts. Also, out of pure admiration, they would like to collect anything that recommended by their idols, such as comic books, concert merchandise, sports drinking, etc. But the elderly people, although some of them might also had or still have a period when they are obsessed with singers or movie stars, are more rational and critical about celebrities' words and behaviors. Being aware of a range of factors, they would think comprehensively - whether it is cost-effective or not, what kind of consequences will it bring, how would others like - before doing something.
In the final analysis, compared to elder people, youngsters are fonder of entertainment, spending more time on watching TV dramas and sports games, and they are not mature enough to form their own opinions. Therefore, they are more likely to be crazy fans of celebrities and be significantly influenced by their point of views.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 393, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ntertainment, such as movies, pop music, or sports games, are prevailing among yo...
^^
Line 3, column 937, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[1]
Message: Use only 'elder' (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: elder
...upcoming basketball games. By contrast, most elder people hardly have so much passion towa...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, moreover, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, in particular, kind of, such as, talking about, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 13.8261648746 203% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2507.0 1977.66487455 127% => OK
No of words: 495.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06464646465 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71684168287 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77992251893 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 273.0 212.727598566 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551515151515 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 773.1 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.3096964356 48.9658058833 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.470588235 100.406767564 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.1176470588 20.6045352989 141% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.47058823529 5.45110844103 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165026846996 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0634189658886 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0561016309503 0.0737576698707 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108957341079 0.150856017488 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0365697931581 0.0645574589148 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.66 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 86.8835125448 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.