In the United States medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms However there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in ele | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in electronic databases rather than on paper. It is argued that storing patients’ medical records in electronic databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based record keeping.
Reducing Costs
First, the use of electronic records can help reduce costs by saving money on storing and transferring medical records. While paper records require a significant amount of storage space, electronic medical records take up virtually no space. Moreover, by having patients’ records computerized in databases, doctors can easily access the records from almost anywhere and can easily duplicate and transfer them when necessary. This costs much less than copying, faxing, or transporting paper records from one location to another.
Preventing Errors
Second, electronic medical records are crucial to reducing the chances of medical errors. Illegible handwriting, improper transcription of data, and nonstandard organization of paper records have caused errors that in some cases have had serious consequences for the patients’ health. In contrast, electronic records are associated with standardization of forms and legible computer fonts and thus minimize the possibility of human error.
Aiding Research
Third, electronic medical records can greatly aid medical research by making it possible to gather large amounts of data from patient records. It is often impractical, impossible, or prohibitively expensive to manually go through thousands of patients’ paper records housed in doctors’ offices. However, with the existence of electronic medical records, it would be simple to draw out the needed information from the medical databases because the databases are already formatted for data collection. Once in the electronic system, the records could be accessed from any research location.

The author of the article suggests that electronic medical record systems have a lot of benefits that outweigh paper keep. However, the lecturer refutes the prescriptions and list evidence to refute it.
The writer first suggests that the electronic medical record can reduce costs since doctors can easily take the record through the electronic method and it also saves money to keep from paper records. But the speaker argued that the cost of storage can not be the benefit of the electronic medical records since money is also needed to pay for electronic, also doctors will keep the original paper record as the backup so there not necessary to copy the paper record.
The author still indicates that electronic records might prevent errors because the handwriting one might have some error during the transcription. The speaker still argued that doctors still take the note in paper and the duty of the electronic record is the staff behind the doctor. If the doctor writes the wrong prescription during the handwriting, the transcription through the electronic record will still have errors.
Finally, the author mentions the research to added in the records is easier through the electronic way than the paper. Nonetheless, the lecturer against the author and says there is no benefit through the electronic method to add research since all information is private in the United States that all records need to be agreed upon by patients. Doctor need a serious and complex procedure to get the record, and they still cannot get the record since the patient block them to use.

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Essay Categories

Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 354, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'needs'.
Suggestion: needs
...d to be agreed upon by patients. Doctor need a serious and complex procedure to get ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, nonetheless, so, still

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 43.0788530466 26% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1323.0 1977.66487455 67% => OK
No of words: 262.0 407.700716846 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04961832061 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.02323427807 4.48103885553 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49947550002 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 128.0 212.727598566 60% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.488549618321 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 405.0 618.680645161 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 9.59856630824 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.94265232975 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 20.6003584229 49% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.5041119915 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.3 100.406767564 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2 20.6045352989 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.2 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.275791827464 0.236089414692 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120087529619 0.076458572812 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0563261808369 0.0737576698707 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168317380229 0.150856017488 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0346340934593 0.0645574589148 54% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 11.7677419355 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 86.8835125448 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 61.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.