"What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion."
Our hometown and our roots make us who we are. There has been said that a birthplace cannot be changed, it is up to us to make the best of it. To make my hometown more attractive to people like me, it will need some measures changes.
In the first place, the education system should be better. In other words: In my homeland, we need to have affordable education. Many students face dropping out of school because they need to find a job, to keep living an average life, only 76% barely make it until 9th grade. Besides, these people start facing poverty. For this reason, a lot of the young population choose to immigrate to other countries, such as the United States, Spain, Canada, Australia, etc. The lack of quality education and job opportunities make it harder for youth like me.
Secondly, transportation needs improvement. My city would become more attractive to people if we had facilities to move around more easily and conveniently. Existing transportation is not enough to cope with the actual population, this creates a problem for the residents affecting everyone because they waste a lot of time waiting for a bus to arrive. For instance, if you want to move from point A to point B, therefore you spend the whole day. Since the only way to move around is by bus. In short, if we add more buses to locations where they need extra flexibilities, we would increase the quality of public transportation making our city more viable.
Definitely, what a city or hometown made them attractive for many people is: organization, the accessibility to studies, job opportunities, flexible ways of transportation and safety.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 448, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t B, therefore you spend the whole day. Since the only way to move around is by bus. ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, first, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, for instance, in short, such as, in other words, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1361.0 1977.66487455 69% => OK
No of words: 280.0 407.700716846 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86071428571 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09062348924 4.48103885553 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90502511493 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.607142857143 0.524837075471 116% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.9783937692 48.9658058833 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.0625 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5 5.45110844103 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.123859602983 0.236089414692 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0394036806625 0.076458572812 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0419086120482 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0803814915326 0.150856017488 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0274712572887 0.0645574589148 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 86.8835125448 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.