When schools do not have enough funding or teachers, some people think physical education classes should be cut, while others believe that courses in art and music should be eliminated first. Which do you think is preferable, and why?

In general, people are devided by two parts of interest, either physical activity or art and music. It emphasizes our personality because early education is important to build our own interest and perspective. I would say that I prefer to have physical education because it helped me to develop my identity as an independent person. The following paragraphs support my opinion.

First of all, students are supposed to study almost half a day at the school. I think it is a bit hard if they were first or second grades because they need to train to sit down and keep concentraining to listen to a teacher. Through my own experience as a kid, the P.E. class was actually kind of break time because we were as children doing sports activities such as running or playing soccer for fun without thinking about tactics. The physical education class is for building fundimental energy to study and being at the school with many people. Thus, it is needed to get a time to move their body between lectures.

Second, an arty class such as drawing paintings or playing instruments are not essential for kids at school. For instance, we had a optional singing club after school so my friends who loved to do chorus, she always stayed at the school to practice. Also, I have had the piano class outside of school every weekend. From my perspective, the better teacher teaches, the more effective to learner. Especially, the teacher at the elementart school in Japan, they do not have specific subject to teach. They cover all the fields and give the lecture to kids so they are not professional to every single subjects. Hence, it could be better if children go to private lesson for the special courses.

Third, the school does not has to get rid of the chance that students could make a good community among them. For example, if they play team sports such as volleyball, they would learn how to be in a group. They will figure out what they are good at and what their roll as an independent so it is an good oppportunity to have some space between friends and understanding each other. Playing sports is sometime making complex relationship between team mates, however they will have time to discuss and get to know each other to make improvement. Therefore, I would say that the physical education is needed to become outgoing person.

All of considered, I would prefer to have physical classes more than art class. It has many good points to let the students are in a group and also to learn as an individual.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 167, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'sitting'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: sitting
...econd grades because they need to train to sit down and keep concentraining to listen ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 131, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...or kids at school. For instance, we had a optional singing club after school so m...
^
Line 7, column 28, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: have
... courses. Third, the school does not has to get rid of the chance that students ...
^^^
Line 7, column 28, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
... courses. Third, the school does not has to get rid of the chance that students ...
^^^
Line 7, column 298, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...t their roll as an independent so it is an good oppportunity to have some space be...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, hence, however, if, second, so, therefore, third, thus, as to, for example, for instance, i think, in general, kind of, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2074.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 441.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7029478458 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6177485956 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517006802721 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 636.3 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.129161978 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1739130435 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1739130435 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.13043478261 5.45110844103 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186347073812 0.236089414692 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0535415229152 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.041961195511 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104682099925 0.150856017488 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0255078754659 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.