Why University?

Essay topics:

Why University?

Attending to a university is one of the greatest events in our life. We can broaden our knowledge and experience in the universities. It is very important to determine our goals for joining to the university since we spent many years there. People may presents many reasons for attending to university, however when it comes to me I choose university for following reasons.

First, attending to a university and getting an academic degree can increase your chance to get a better job due to requirement that significant jobs have. For example, I remember from my high school that some of my friends prefer to work on their own instead of going to university. Some of them could succeed in their work, but many of them could not get a good job. On the other hand, I and John choose university and we studied hard to pass the entrance examination. Today, both of us are successful engineer in a big company. If our other friends went to university and got an academic degree, they could get a good job in our company too. As you can see, Joining to a university can heighten your chance to get better job.

Second, universities are a great place to improve your social and art activities. They have many art groups that students can join for free and use their services. For example, I loved music and playing guitar, but before attending to the university I did not have opportunity to learn playing guitar without paying a lot of money. Joining to the art group of the university, I could learn playing guitar in one semester from my new friends in the group. Furthermore, I could do concerts in the university in special celebrations. Having problem to find new friends, I could learn how deal with other students in the group and university and it helped me to increase my social activities. So, Universities can improve your art and social activities if you want to.

In sum up, I can say attending to the university was one of my greatest experience ever. Not only it helped me to get a good job with good money, but also it heightened my art and social activities in my life. If you are a high school student, then I suggest you to go to the university as I did.

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Sentence: People may presents many reasons for attending to university, however when it comes to me I choose university for following reasons.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to may and presents

On the other hand, I and John choose university
On the other hand, John and I choose university

both of us are successful engineer in a big company.
both of us are successful engineers in a big company.

to get better job.
to get better jobs.
to get a better job.

universities are a great place
universities are the great place

I could learn how deal with other students
I could learn how to deal with other students

Not only it helped me to get a good job with good money, but also it heightened my art and social activities
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 391 350
No. of Characters: 1735 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.447 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.437 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.65 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.627 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5