Altruism

Essay topics:

Altruism

Both the reading passage and the lecture discuss altruism, a type of behavior seen when an animal sacrifices its food or even its life to benefit other animals. The author states that animals such has the meerkat and humans have shown high altruistic habits while the professor casts doubts on this idea.
The reading passage states that meerkats, found in African grasslands areas, exhibit altruism because when they hunt, one of them acts as a guard for the others meerkat. The sentinel meerkat watches out for predators and sends a signal to the rest of its group whenever there is a threat. This shows the meerkat altruism, for acting as the group guard, the meerkat expose itself to danger and stays hungry while the remaining of the group is eating. The professor counters this idea by arguing that the sentinel meerkat watches out for predator after eating. According to the professor this is no longer an altruistic behavior. Moreover, she argues that the sentinel meerkat is in a safer position in relation to the predator than the rest of the group because after it emits the signal, the predators is more likely to follow the larger number of meerkats.
The passage claims that humans also depicts altruism by sacrificing their body organs for the wellbeing of other people. In fact, they gain little from giving their organs. However, the professor disagrees with this statement. She gave an example of people giving their kidneys to their relatives. She argues that when they do so, they expect appreciation and approval from their community. She pointed to the fact that for some people this appreaciation is integral; thus, because they anticipate appreaciation, their actions no longer illustrate altruism.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 156, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'others'' or 'other's'?
Suggestion: others'; other's
...nt, one of them acts as a guard for the others meerkat. The sentinel meerkat watches o...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 172, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...acts as a guard for the others meerkat. The sentinel meerkat watches out for predat...
^^^
Line 3, column 393, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...tion and approval from their community. She pointed to the fact that for some peopl...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, moreover, so, thus, well, while, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 5.04856512141 0% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 7.30242825607 82% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 22.412803532 152% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 30.0 30.3222958057 99% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 5.01324503311 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1445.0 1373.03311258 105% => OK
No of words: 285.0 270.72406181 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0701754386 5.08290768461 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10876417139 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46845035457 2.5805825403 96% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 145.348785872 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.540350877193 0.540411800872 100% => OK
syllable_count: 429.3 419.366225166 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 3.25607064018 246% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 21.2450331126 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.3281578183 49.2860985944 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.214285714 110.228320801 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3571428571 21.698381199 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.21428571429 7.06452816374 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.09492273731 73% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 4.45695364238 157% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158049562651 0.272083759551 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0582305807967 0.0996497079465 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0786875021257 0.0662205650399 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111959955314 0.162205337803 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0095300507429 0.0443174109184 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.3589403974 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 53.8541721854 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.0289183223 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.2367328918 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.42419426049 101% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 63.6247240618 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.7273730684 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.498013245 95% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:

para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).

Don't need a conclusion paragraph.

Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.