Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
I totally agree that nowadays, the extended family counts less than in the past. When I was in Paris for one year's exchange programme, on a social problem class, the teacher discussed with us the evolution of the concept of family. She said that the family has passed from the traditional concept of extended family to core family, and even to other forms of family, such as families of DINK couples. The same tendency occurred in both France and China, and in many other parts of the world, I suppose. There are numerous factors contributing to this change. To begin with, the modern world allows people to live in farther places. As more and more railway stations are built in what was once very remote areas and as the velocity of trains become higher, people are able to travel a long distance and go wherever they want to. This advancement enables them to reach places they dared not even dream of. Therefore, family members do not live together any more as an aggregation. Also, with the development of telecom technology, people are able to keep in touch with their family and friends without staying right beside them. Another remarkable point is that, as the technology becomes more and more cutting-edge, the generation gap becomes larger. For example, my grand parents can hardly understand what I do everyday with my smartphone, and sometimes even if I explain its functions to them, this small device is still strange to them. What's more, the modern society provides people with various opportunities. During the process of urbanisation, a lot of young people move from their hometown to big cities, seeking for a job opportunity that may change their whole life. Often, cities offer bunches of opportunities, allowing some of these young to become millionaires. Others who stayed in the hometown, on hearing the legend created by these young people, followed them to the cities. As time goes by, it is often the old who are left in the countryside. Thus, the entire family is split into several fragments, scattering about in different places. Lastly, the busy life in cities leaves people with less time to spend on their family. The quick-paced life in cities is always surrounded by work. People rarely have time to stop their work to see their family. Even if they have some leisure time, they would prefer spending it on themselves or on their children. I used to live with my grand parents when I was little, but then I moved to another city with my parents. As I grow up, I find that with so much work to do, I barely have the time to call them, not to mention to see them in person. My free time becomes so precious to me that there is not a single person with whom I want to share my time. People are too exhausted to keep a keen relationship with their aunts and uncles, especially when they do not live under the same roof. With the four reasons I mentioned above, I am fully convinced that nowadays, the extended family is less important than it was in the past.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 973, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...y members do not live together any more as an aggregation. Also, with the developm...
^^
Line 1, column 1331, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...parents can hardly understand what I do everyday with my smartphone, and sometimes even ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 1465, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... device is still strange to them. Whats more, the modern society provides peopl...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, lastly, may, so, still, then, therefore, thus, for example, i suppose, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 10.4613686534 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 5.04856512141 59% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 7.30242825607 164% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 12.0772626932 108% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 22.412803532 268% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 87.0 30.3222958057 287% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 5.01324503311 160% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2518.0 1373.03311258 183% => OK
No of words: 522.0 270.72406181 193% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82375478927 5.08290768461 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77988695657 4.04702891845 118% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96328450109 2.5805825403 115% => OK
Unique words: 283.0 145.348785872 195% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54214559387 0.540411800872 100% => OK
syllable_count: 785.7 419.366225166 187% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 3.25607064018 399% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 8.23620309051 134% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 1.25165562914 399% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.51434878587 264% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 13.0662251656 161% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 21.2450331126 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.3492257711 49.2860985944 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.904761905 110.228320801 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8571428571 21.698381199 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.14285714286 7.06452816374 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 1.0 4.09492273731 24% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 4.33554083885 231% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 4.45695364238 45% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.27373068433 211% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.161139520481 0.272083759551 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0454824542306 0.0996497079465 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0581632072232 0.0662205650399 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161139520481 0.162205337803 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 13.3589403974 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 53.8541721854 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.0289183223 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.2367328918 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.42419426049 99% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 63.6247240618 181% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.7273730684 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.498013245 110% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.