Integrated writing (TPO 46)
In the reading section, the writer claims that it is argued that storing patients' medical records in electronic databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based record keeping such as reduction of costs, prevention of errors, and helping researchers. However, in the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the reading section and states that we are not very certain about the benefits of using electronic records.
First of all, the writer contends that the use of electronic records can help reduce costs by saving money on storing and transferring medical records because computerized databases need no physical spaces and there are no extra costs for copying or faxing records to another locations. In contrast, the professor mentions that using this method doesn't help us to cut our costs. Because most doctors keep their paper records due to emergency cases, and they simultaneously keep the paper records and electronic versions, we cannot expect the reduction of costs. As a result, they have to continue for paying storage costs for paper forms.
Furthermore, contrary to the idea in the reading part suggesting that electronic medical records are crucial to reducing the chances of medical errors such as illegible handwriting and improper transcription of data, the lecturer asserts that the merits in the reading will not be accomplished. As we know, even nowadays, most doctors use paper and pen to write medical records, and then they give the forms to their staffs to computerize it. Thus, staff members may interpret them in a wrong manner and enter it in a wrong way. Thus, this method cannot reduce the human errors.
In addition, even though the writer mentions that electronic medical records can greatly aid medical research by providing large amounts of data from patient records, the professor asserts that these electronic medical records are not available for every researcher because there are strict rules for getting access to them. Due to strict rules in privacy of patients, researchers cannot acquire data easily. Also, should they want to get access to these records, they must follow very complicated procedures and strict regulations that in most cases cannot be granted.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 347, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ofessor mentions that using this method doesnt help us to cut our costs. Because most ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 482, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a wrong manner" with adverb for "wrong"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... Thus, staff members may interpret them in a wrong manner and enter it in a wrong way. Thus, this...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 513, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a wrong way" with adverb for "wrong"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ret them in a wrong manner and enter it in a wrong way. Thus, this method cannot reduce the hu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, may, so, then, thus, in addition, in contrast, such as, as a result, first of all, in most cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 10.4613686534 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 5.04856512141 218% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 7.30242825607 164% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 22.412803532 138% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 30.3222958057 135% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 5.01324503311 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1866.0 1373.03311258 136% => OK
No of words: 354.0 270.72406181 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27118644068 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.04702891845 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64100575992 2.5805825403 102% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 145.348785872 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528248587571 0.540411800872 98% => OK
syllable_count: 567.0 419.366225166 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.23620309051 73% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 1.25165562914 320% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.51434878587 198% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 13.0662251656 99% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 21.2450331126 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 90.5354878278 49.2860985944 184% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.538461538 110.228320801 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2307692308 21.698381199 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0769230769 7.06452816374 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 4.33554083885 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 4.45695364238 224% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.556297173842 0.272083759551 204% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.174793289393 0.0996497079465 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.160241022511 0.0662205650399 242% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.34158716076 0.162205337803 211% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0590965114458 0.0443174109184 133% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 13.3589403974 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 53.8541721854 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 11.0289183223 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.2367328918 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.12 8.42419426049 108% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 63.6247240618 146% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 10.7273730684 186% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.498013245 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.2008830022 125% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.