TPO 25-Integrated TOEFL Writing
The passage and the lecture both talk about the ancient electric batteries. The passage demonstrates that the vessels were unlikely used as electric batteries in ancient times. According to the lecturer, However, the passage reasons are not convincing.
First, the passage claims that vessels were not used as batteries. It pointed out that during the excavations no electricity conductors such as metal wires have been found connected to them. Nevertheless, the lecturer argues this claim that those vessels have found by local people who have not trained like archaeologists. It is likely that, In this way, the observed wires were overlooked or were consider as an unimportant issue.
secondly, According to the passage copper cylinders of jars and the copper cylinders of Seleucia, which were used to holding the scrolls, were the same. Although the lecturer agrees that they were similar, it states that the passage's claim have not really proved. It points out that these cylinders along with iron and liquid can produce the battery.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 394, Rule ID: WERE_VBB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'where' or 'we'?
Suggestion: where; we
..., the observed wires were overlooked or were consider as an unimportant issue. sec...
^^^^
Line 2, column 399, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'considered'.
Suggestion: considered
... observed wires were overlooked or were consider as an unimportant issue. secondly, Ac...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...ere consider as an unimportant issue. secondly, According to the passage copper cylind...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, look, nevertheless, really, second, secondly, so, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 10.4613686534 96% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 5.04856512141 20% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 7.30242825607 55% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 22.412803532 80% => OK
Preposition: 15.0 30.3222958057 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 0.0 5.01324503311 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 875.0 1373.03311258 64% => OK
No of words: 166.0 270.72406181 61% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27108433735 5.08290768461 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.58944267634 4.04702891845 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63076503369 2.5805825403 102% => OK
Unique words: 97.0 145.348785872 67% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.584337349398 0.540411800872 108% => OK
syllable_count: 272.7 419.366225166 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.23620309051 73% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 13.0662251656 77% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 16.0 21.2450331126 75% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 26.3630423131 49.2860985944 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 87.5 110.228320801 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6 21.698381199 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3 7.06452816374 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.09492273731 73% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 4.33554083885 23% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.27373068433 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.453969356581 0.272083759551 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.17413666568 0.0996497079465 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0936332036955 0.0662205650399 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.291292241108 0.162205337803 180% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0562737898654 0.0443174109184 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 13.3589403974 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 53.8541721854 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.0289183223 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.99 12.2367328918 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.42419426049 100% => OK
difficult_words: 42.0 63.6247240618 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.7273730684 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.498013245 80% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.2008830022 89% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.