TPO50
Scientists are considering the possibility of sending humans to Mars in the coming decades. Although there have been successful manned missions to the Moon in the 1960s and 1970s, Mars is 150 times further away from Earth than the Moon is. Thus the project of sending humans to Mars would require solving an array of problems the Moon missions did not have to face. One problem is that a round-trip to Mars and back is likely to take at least two years. The trip to the Moon lasted only a few days, and it was easy to bring enough supplies of food, water, and oxygen; but the cargo capacity of space vehicles is too limited to put on board the food, water, and oxygen required by a crew for a period of two years. Without those essentials, though, a Mars mission is impossible. A second problem is that astronauts on the Mars mission would be in the zero-gravity environment of space for many months at a time. Spending a long time in the zero-gravity environment has negative effects on the human body, such as decreased muscle mass and lower bone density. Over the course of a two-year mission, the effects would be so severe, they would make it impossible for humans to make the trip without experiencing grave medical problems. Finally, astronauts on a mission to Mars would be exposed to dangerous levels of space radiation, much of which comes in the form of charged particles emitted by the Sun. Earth’s magnetic field, which normally protects us from dangerous solar radiation, would not be able to protect a spaceship traveling in interplanetary space. Constructing a shield that would protect the whole spaceship from space radiation is at present impossible because it would add too much weight to the ship.
The professor suggests some solutions in response to the problem mentioned in the reading passage on the difficulties to send astronauts to the Mars.
First, let those plants grow in water instead of soil. To solve the problem that carrying enough water, food, and oxygen would put too much weight on the spacecraft, there is a technique been created that let plants grow using only water, so the weight would be very much reduced. Also, the technique would recycle wastewater to clean water that is drinkable, as a result, the problem of drinking is also resolved. Furthermore, the plants would use carbon dioxide to produce oxygen, so the difficulty of carrying enough oxygen is resolved as well.
Second, the astronauts have been receiving training to work in the zero-gravity area for several months, so they have learnt ways to deal with the problems that would affect their body. For example, exercising regularly is a good way to prevent the loss of decreasing of muscle mass and eating supplement, such as vitamins, could deal with the problem of losing bone density.
Third, the radiation emitted by the Sun is not dangerous at all times. Only strong radiations would cause damage to the human body and it only happens occasionally, so it can be solved by equipping special instruments on the spacecraft to detect the level of radiation. In this case, apart from the time that the instrument detects the level of dangerous radiation, the astronauts can continue their work normally.
To conclude, sending astronauts to the Mars is not something impossible, there are ways to make it happened.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 53, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'working'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: working
...astronauts have been receiving training to work in the zero-gravity area for several mo...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, second, so, third, well, apart from, for example, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 10.4613686534 115% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 5.04856512141 178% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 7.30242825607 41% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 12.0772626932 41% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 22.412803532 58% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 30.3222958057 119% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 5.01324503311 100% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1349.0 1373.03311258 98% => OK
No of words: 267.0 270.72406181 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05243445693 5.08290768461 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.04229324003 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69132332772 2.5805825403 104% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 145.348785872 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.576779026217 0.540411800872 107% => OK
syllable_count: 405.0 419.366225166 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.23620309051 85% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 13.0662251656 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 21.2450331126 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.7616371057 49.2860985944 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.636363636 110.228320801 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2727272727 21.698381199 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.09090909091 7.06452816374 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.09492273731 122% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.27373068433 47% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.058216561679 0.272083759551 21% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0236137213909 0.0996497079465 24% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.030252374622 0.0662205650399 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0407988744342 0.162205337803 25% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0306806586316 0.0443174109184 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 13.3589403974 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 53.8541721854 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.0289183223 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.2367328918 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.2 8.42419426049 109% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 63.6247240618 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.7273730684 98% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.498013245 110% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.2008830022 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.