In the United States medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms However there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in ele | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which information about patients is stored in electronic databases rather than on paper. It is argued that storing patients’ medical records in electronic databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based record keeping.

Reducing Costs

First, the use of electronic records can help reduce costs by saving money on storing and transferring medical records. While paper records require a significant amount of storage space, electronic medical records take up virtually no space. Moreover, by having patients’ records computerized in databases, doctors can easily access the records from almost anywhere and can easily duplicate and transfer them when necessary. This costs much less than copying, faxing, or transporting paper records from one location to another.

Preventing Errors

Second, electronic medical records are crucial to reducing the chances of medical errors. Illegible handwriting, improper transcription of data, and nonstandard organization of paper records have caused errors that in some cases have had serious consequences for the patients’ health. In contrast, electronic records are associated with standardization of forms and legible computer fonts and thus minimize the possibility of human error.

Aiding Research

Third, electronic medical records can greatly aid medical research by making it possible to gather large amounts of data from patient records. It is often impractical, impossible, or prohibitively expensive to manually go through thousands of patients’ paper records housed in doctors’ offices. However, with the existence of electronic medical records, it would be simple to draw out the needed information from the medical databases because the databases are already formatted for data collection. Once in the electronic system, the records could be accessed from any research location.

The article and the lecture both deal with electronic medical records. Whilst the author claims that electronic databases are better than paper-based for three reasons, the lecturer contradicts his arguments respectively.

First, according to the reading, electronic records help decrease cost for storage and transfer of medical records. In contrast, the professor argues that electronic records cannot actually save space because doctors usually keep the paper version as a backup or in case signatures are needed for legal reason. Therefore, the electronic version does not reduce cost at all.

Second, the writer states that by using electronic records doctors can avoid making mistakes. However, the lecturer questions his argument by saying that doctors still use pen and paper to write down patients' information by hand during medical examination. Then this information is entered into the system by other staff members, who may make errors at this stage.

Last but not least, the author posits that electronic records are helps for doctors to collect useful information for research. As opposed to the writer, the speaker points out that there are restrictions on using patients' medical information required by privacy law. Doctors have to follow many strict steps to ask patients for permission, which patients usually deny offering as it is not used for the therapy.

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Integrated TOEFL Writing

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 201, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'patients'' or 'patient's'?
Suggestion: patients'; patient's
...s still use pen and paper to write down patients information by hand during medical exam...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, however, may, second, so, still, then, therefore, in contrast

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 5.04856512141 59% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 12.0772626932 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 22.412803532 49% => OK
Preposition: 22.0 30.3222958057 73% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 5.01324503311 120% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1174.0 1373.03311258 86% => OK
No of words: 214.0 270.72406181 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.48598130841 5.08290768461 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.82475343497 4.04702891845 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62282355943 2.5805825403 102% => OK
Unique words: 136.0 145.348785872 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.635514018692 0.540411800872 118% => OK
syllable_count: 357.3 419.366225166 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.23620309051 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 13.0662251656 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 21.2450331126 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.8332574847 49.2860985944 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.727272727 110.228320801 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4545454545 21.698381199 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.54545454545 7.06452816374 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 4.19205298013 24% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.278805490774 0.272083759551 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106918203281 0.0996497079465 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0452368914775 0.0662205650399 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162131091642 0.162205337803 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0557116488608 0.0443174109184 126% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 13.3589403974 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 53.8541721854 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.0289183223 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.56 12.2367328918 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.42419426049 108% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 63.6247240618 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.7273730684 84% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.498013245 91% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, however, may, second, so, still, then, therefore, in contrast

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments