You traveled by plane last week and your suitcase was lost.You have still heard nothing from the AIRLINE COMPANY .Write to the airline and explain what happened. Describe your suitcaseand tell them what was in it. Find out what they are going to do about

Essay topics:

You traveled by plane last week and your suitcase was lost.
You have still heard nothing from the AIRLINE COMPANY .
Write to the airline and explain what happened. Describe your suitcase
and tell them what was in it. Find out what they are going to do about it.

Submitted by RBH on Mon, 07/06/2015 - 11:48

Dear Sir,

I am writing to you to inform that my luggage is missing that I had checked in; while travelling from Melbourne to Hong Kong from your reputed Airline. After landing at the Hong Kong airport, I was surprised to know that my suitcase was by mistake mixed with European flight. Before also I traveled many times using your airline service; however, never faced this kind of problem.

Suitcase is of red color and brand name is Samsonite. In addition, size of suitcase is 24 inch with few scratches. Since there is a name tag with my contact details, pasted on the back side. Thus it is very easy to locate by your airline. In terms of cost there are not much expensive items in my suitcae except few toys that I had purchased for my son. Moreover, suitcase contains souvenirs and gifts that I bought for my family and friends; inaddition, some clothes.

On Friday after having telephonic discussion with your airline staff, they had assured me for all help and support, but unfortunately 3 days had been passed until now and nothing has been done so far. I would be grateful to you, if you look into this matter on the urgent basis and it is my personal request that whenever your airline staff finds my luggage, can they arrange for door delivery at my address.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully
James

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Comments

Suitcase is of red color and brand name is Samsonite. In addition, size of suitcase is 24 inch
The suitcase is of red color and the brand name is Samsonite. In addition, the size of suitcase is 24 inch

there is name tag
there is a name tag

if I remember there are my clothes, toys which I had purchased for my son; moreover some souvenirs and gifts.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
Need to put punctuation marks properly. for example:

while,
Before,
thus,

More sentences varieties wanted. don't always use 'I' as the subject of a sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 12 10
No. of Words: 221 200
No. of Characters: 963 1000
No. of Different Words: 143 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.856 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.357 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.272 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 61 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 50 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 23 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 10 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.814 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.711 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your valuable comment.

I have rewritten some of the sentences as per your advice. Can you reevaluate the essay

Many thanks in advance.

Regards