Describe an influentioal person and say why you feel this person is a positive role model?

There are many people in my life such as, my parents, grandparents, and my all family members, who has good influence on me. But, my husband has a great influence on me, because he is very passionate for work in life, he is hardworking, friendly, loving, helping in nature, and lovable person. He always inspires me to progress in life. He is the one who always pushes me to succeed in life. He never give-up and this is his attitude always motivates me.

First, my husband is confident person. He thinks positively, and does his work with positive view. He believes, we should always think positively, this help us to run on the correct path. Negative thinking can divert our way to success. For example, if we want to do any work in life which we never did before, then we should do that work by considering their positive points. If we think only, as we never did this work before, and therefore, we never tried, then we will not be able be to walk even a single step towards success. He always says, try again and again. Never stop trying till we complete our goal. He believes failure is the first step to the success. He not only applies all these in his work, but helps others also to succeed in life. He never expects any return from anyone.

In addition, he teaches me a lot in my life. I am from small town. I haven’t been away from my family. My family is also traditional and orthodox. They taught me traditional, family, and moral values. But, I never interacted to the real world before. My first interaction with the real world was when I got married. It was very hard for me totally in different country with different custom and culture. I could not even understand language there. So, I always use to feel frustrate, failure and disappointing. But, my husband taught me language, tried hard to get me involved in many activities, where I did not feel alone, frustrate and failure. He did really hard work for me and now also he is doing. He not only helps me in my trouble, but also many others.

Finally, my teachers, peers, and friends are also taught me many things in life, but my husband did incredible job for me and still he is doing it. His positive attitude, hardworking nature, and passion for work always inspire and motivate me. Therefore, he is my real positive role model.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (5 votes)
Essay Categories

Sentence: He believes, we should always think positively, this help us to run on the correct path.
Description: The fragment this help us is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace help with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.125 21.0 (need more compound or complex sentences)

Your problem: subjects are always: He or We or I...

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 1809 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.307 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.354 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.326 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.531 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.439 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.256 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5