The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Humana University
In this memorandum written by the president of the Humana University, he talks about promoting online degree programs to increase overall enrollment and solve budget related problems. To strengthen his argument he cites example of nearby Omni University, which has got significant increase in enrollment through online programs and managed to decrease the expenses of classroom budget. He also, talks about the decreased rate of enrollment at Humana and difficulties in maintaining budget for dormitory and classrooms. In my opinion the arguments presented by the president are weak and too quixotic.
Firstly, the president wrongly relates Omni University with Humana. He never mentions the courses provided by both universities. To strenghten to his arguments, he must cite any surveys from acceptable sources. Maybe, the Omni provides totally different courses in degree than that of Humana. Unless and until the overall intake and subjects are provided, we cannot conclude anything.
Secondly, he unconvincingly thinks that increment for a short period is enough to decide. Maybe, the data should be gathered for little extra time period. The success gained by Omni may not last long. Like, some of the students might only have enrolled to check the new method of education.
Thirdly, the president doesn't account the other facilities provided by university. Maybe the increment in the enrollment is the result of better reputation of Omni. For an example, Omni may have hired quality faculties and professors. The management of Omni may have planned better to bring popularity.
Fourthly, the president does not talk about difficulties to setting up the online degree program. Like, Humana will have to set up new systems and architecture for new courses. Maybe, the current teaching staff is not familiar with new style of education. In such cases the program would badly fail.
Finally, I believe that the arguments presented by the president are not only weak but also optimistic. He should first of all gather data on from a larger background. Maybe, the surveys talking about online enrollment over the country or large region can give better idea. Also, immediately moving over to internet based system may not work. First of all, enough planning and set ups should be done. Up to that, the idea presented by the president remains dubious and unacceptable.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1939 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.13 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.668 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.914 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.481 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.267 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.507 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 133, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ourses provided by both universities. To strenghten to his arguments, he must cit...
^^
Line 5, column 209, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...gained by Omni may not last long. Like, some of the students might only have enrolled to ch...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 25, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...of education. Thirdly, the president doesnt account the other facilities provided b...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, talking about, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.6327345309 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2010.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 377.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.33156498674 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4064143971 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76485217421 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.557029177719 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 630.9 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 22.8473053892 57% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.0717078478 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 74.4444444444 119.503703932 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.962962963 23.324526521 60% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 4.85185185185 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148509786318 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0390180044785 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.057201609901 0.0701772020484 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0711292822323 0.128457276422 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0512211518752 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.82 48.3550499002 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.04 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.89 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.1389221557 65% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.