An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces A study reports that in nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high people visit the doctor only once or twice per

Essay topics:

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

The main idea to reduce the number of absenteeism is to have good enough fish meals that is healthy and nutritious enough to cure the colds. The author has mentioned the reason for the low number of workers and students in the offices and schools is the cold flu. But this argument is rife with assumption only and have not provide any example or data to support.
Firstly, the argument doesn’t significantly provide any data to elucidate the efficacy of use of fish as a cure to the common cold. There has also no any research or experiments on these cold and fish meal related topic. There might be a strong positive relationship between the fish and nutritional benefits to humane but the explicit relation to cure the cold is not yet been provided or found. Therefore, not bold enough to conclude the assumption made by the author.
Secondly, arguer goes on to say that there is a significant low number of visitor to the doctors for cold treatment in East Meria where the consumption of fish is relatively high but again there is no any relevant source to prove that cold can be cured from the fish consumption. The few visit to the doctors can be due to high cost of cure and treatment in the clinics and hospitals that unable people cannot afford. So, this doesn’t prove eating substantial amount of fish can cure cold and hence to strengthen this writer must provide specific and appropriated examples along with various data.
Thirdly, author suggest that there will be rise in the attendance of workers and students in their respective organization since he claimed that eating fish is the way to cure cold. However, people might be getting leave or being absent due to colds as an easiest excuse beside having other reasons; as cold is directly related to health and sure way to get leave. There might be emergence of other reason for being absent such as fever, diahorrea, viral flu etc. So, there is no any guarantee that the attendance record will improve.
In summary, the given argument falls short in many aspects. The argument advocates for the low doctor visit and improve in attendance by eating fish but is not significant enough to prove it as various lacuna are present everywhere in it. To prove it there must be sufficient data and experiment and hence at last it can’t be recommended that fish source as a daily nutritional supply is a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 325, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'provided'.
Suggestion: provided
... rife with assumption only and have not provide any example or data to support. Firstl...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 147, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...cure to the common cold. There has also no any research or experiments on these co...
^^
Line 3, column 199, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...h is relatively high but again there is no any relevant source to prove that cold ...
^^
Line 3, column 284, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun visit seems to be countable; consider using: 'few visits'.
Suggestion: few visits
...be cured from the fish consumption. The few visit to the doctors can be due to high cost ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 253, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...g leave or being absent due to colds as an easiest excuse beside having other reas...
^^
Line 4, column 477, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
... diahorrea, viral flu etc. So, there is no any guarantee that the attendance recor...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, in summary, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 11.1786427146 224% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2000.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 423.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72813238771 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.554401692 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472813238771 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 633.6 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.9952420124 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.647058824 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8823529412 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.11764705882 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.122052272422 0.218282227539 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0416014762655 0.0743258471296 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0474597019194 0.0701772020484 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0737846815526 0.128457276422 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.046714704406 0.0628817314937 74% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.45 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 1956 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.602 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.495 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.624 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.334 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5