The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The excerpt from the application for a small business loan claims a high popularity of Jazz in the city of Monroe. The authors argument does seem probable, and a jazz music club in the city might be profitable, but it will be too naive to back on the limited evidence that the author has provided. The statements needs to be examined closely in light of all factors that might affect the assumed profitable enterprise.
Firstly, the developers talk about the jazz enterprise being profitable in the area of Monroe due to remoteness of other jazz clubs. However, the author does not discuss about the market status of Monroe. It is worthy of remark to consider the number of musical clubs already in the area. A survey which tells the musical preference of the residents of Monroe might come in handy; statistical figures like the number of attendees in musical clubs on Jazz nights on weekly basis; the proposed expenditure along with expected footfall should be looked at.
The author continues to give evidence to back the popularity of jazz in Monroe. It may well be that popular in Monroe but is certainly questionable. Irrespective of how many people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival, it will be important to consider the number of attendess in other similar festivals like the rock or pop festival. It might be true that residents of Monroe like jazz, but it important to answer if Jazz is the first preference amongst the residents, when given an option between several genres. Authors claim that several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, this might act as a catalyst for C-Note, once it has opened, but it is not a substantial argument to prove the popularity of jazz in Monroe. Added to that, author claims that Jazz Nightly is the highest rated radio program, but does not give empirical data for the same. Questions remain unanswered : How many people still listen to radio? How many listeners are there for Jazz Nightly and other programs? It might be very well possible that Jazz Nightly has the highest rating due to, the time it has been allocated, which is the peak traffic hour and has a lot of listeners.
Additionally, the developers talk about close to a thousand dollars being spent on jazz entertainment. The study for this data is a nationwide study, what is required is a more focussed local survey. A survey which tells about the average expenditure on recreation, on musical entertainment, on other geners would be considered apt for such an argument.
A jazz club in Monroe might be profitable, but only when all the aspects are considered, musical preference of residents is known; marketing and budget is discussed; and a local survey backing all the claims. To conclude, the developers argument seems probable, but a more detailed study, a thorough market research needs to be done before trying to venture into such an enterprise. Other more well researched options can prove to be a better success like a fusion of two most liked genres of the residents on the basis of a survey or hosting Jazz nights in different clubs of the area on a pro-partnership basis.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 120, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...rity of Jazz in the city of Monroe. The authors argument does seem probable, and a jazz...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 299, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... evidence that the author has provided. The statements needs to be examined closely...
^^^
Line 1, column 314, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'need'.
Suggestion: need
...the author has provided. The statements needs to be examined closely in light of all ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 555, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... expected footfall should be looked at. The author continues to give evidence to...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 227, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'developers'' or 'developer's'?
Suggestion: developers'; developer's
...acking all the claims. To conclude, the developers argument seems probable, but a more det...
^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'may', 'still', 'well']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.254700854701 0.25644967241 99% => OK
Verbs: 0.150427350427 0.15541462614 97% => OK
Adjectives: 0.112820512821 0.0836205057962 135% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0358974358974 0.0520304965353 69% => OK
Pronouns: 0.017094017094 0.0272364105082 63% => OK
Prepositions: 0.126495726496 0.125424944231 101% => OK
Participles: 0.0376068376068 0.0416121511921 90% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.73061756011 2.79052419416 98% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0290598290598 0.026700313972 109% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.112820512821 0.113004496875 100% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0222222222222 0.0255425247493 87% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.017094017094 0.0127820249294 134% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3124.0 2731.13054187 114% => OK
No of words: 532.0 446.07635468 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.87218045113 6.12365571057 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80261649409 4.57801047555 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.351503759398 0.378187486979 93% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.253759398496 0.287650121315 88% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.169172932331 0.208842608468 81% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.124060150376 0.135150697306 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73061756011 2.79052419416 98% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 207.018472906 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458646616541 0.469332199767 98% => OK
Word variations: 53.6191260324 52.1807786196 103% => OK
How many sentences: 22.0 20.039408867 110% => OK
Sentence length: 24.1818181818 23.2022227129 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.7804515257 57.7814097925 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.0 141.986410481 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1818181818 23.2022227129 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.409090909091 0.724660767414 56% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 49.5577580314 51.9672348444 95% => OK
Elegance: 2.05882352941 1.8405768891 112% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.50940622609 0.441005458295 116% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.136504454209 0.135418324435 101% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0738436240831 0.0829849096947 89% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.574783893138 0.58762219726 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.155054872797 0.147661913831 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.218782179901 0.193483328276 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117892966228 0.0970749176394 121% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.397947207256 0.42659136922 93% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.143810858028 0.0774707102158 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.359135465941 0.312017818177 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112352925141 0.0698173142475 161% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.33743842365 180% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.87684729064 29% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.82512315271 104% => OK
Positive topic words: 14.0 6.46551724138 217% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.82389162562 142% => OK
Total topic words: 20.0 14.657635468 136% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.