With the development of the mass media, advertisements become more attractive to many companies. Television advertising is always the most popular way to attract more customers, for it shows or illustrates the products and their functions more directly and vividly. And nowadays as parents show more love to their children, companies make all efforts to advertise directly to young children, which can "persuade" parents to pay more for their children and gain more profits. However, as far as I am concerned, I strongly believe that it is harmful to young children when Television advertising directed towards to them since lack the ability of young children to distinguish between what is bad, and is good for them and it is harmful for their eyesight and their social communication.
To begin with, Television advertising should not be directed toward young children, for children lack the ability to identify good or bad. The children at the age from two to five are too young to differentiate the good from the bad, which will lead them to make the wrong choices. As advertisement agencies are good at taking advantages of high technology, young children are easily attracted by the colorful and lively ads and are lured to buy something useless or harmful to them. For instance, the advertisements of chewing gums are always dramatic and fantastic, which easily please young children with imaging the joy of chewing those chewing gums. Then the children will keep bothering their parents for buying them chewing gums. However, since chewing gums are made of several chemical compounds which have some bad effects on children's health, young children are actually harmed by these advertisements and their products. Some young children even died because they suddenly choked when they chewed chewing gums. Therefore, to some degree, Television advertising directed towards the young children is not only a waste of parent's money, but also harmful to young children's health.
In addition to lack their ability to distinguish between , Television advertising directed toward young children means that young children are more attracted by television programs, which is harmful to their eyesight and affect on their social communications. According to some research, more and more children become shortsighted at a younger age than before, because of watching Television too much. In addition, as the childhood is the best and essential time to acquire basic skills, if young children are absorbed in Television programs, they will lack a lot of chances to get along with others and make new friends. This is particularly not beneficial to foster their social communication skills, which will have a bad influence on their life-long development. Hence, Television advertising should not be directed towards young children.
As all things considered, while it is true that the Television is really important in our life since when you open the TV, there are more than 60 channel, so, you can be able to get more information about the world, and academically, it is so beneficial, it has many education programs but when Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed, for it not only is harmful to their health, but also it has negative effect on their social communication.
Essay evaluation report
more than 60 channel,
more than 60 channels,
for it not only is harmful to their health, but also it has negative effect on their social communication.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
No. of Words: 534 while No. of Different Words: 222 //it means it has a lot of duplicated content
follow this user by three reasons but less examples:
http://www.testbig.com/users/ftn
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 534 350
No. of Characters: 2729 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.807 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.11 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.778 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 162 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.311 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.4 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.545 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.216 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
With the development of the mass media, ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...esight and their social communication. To begin with, Television advert...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lso harmful to young childrens health. In addition to lack their ability ...
^^^
Line 5, column 63, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ack their ability to distinguish between , Television advertising directed toward ...
^^
Line 5, column 228, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
... which is harmful to their eyesight and affect on their social communications. According ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t be directed towards young children. As all things considered, while it...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 153, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'channels'?
Suggestion: channels
...you open the TV, there are more than 60 channel, so, you can be able to get more inform...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 153, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'channel' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'channels'.
Suggestion: channels
...you open the TV, there are more than 60 channel, so, you can be able to get more inform...
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['actually', 'also', 'but', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'really', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'while', 'for instance', 'in addition', 'it is true', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.205387205387 0.229887763892 89% => OK
Verbs: 0.164983164983 0.158761421928 104% => OK
Adjectives: 0.112794612795 0.0866891130778 130% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0707070707071 0.046263068375 153% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0589225589226 0.0685040099705 86% => OK
Prepositions: 0.104377104377 0.118717715034 88% => OK
Participles: 0.040404040404 0.0351676179071 115% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.92568806001 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Infinitives: 0.047138047138 0.0309702414327 152% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0572390572391 0.0887237588012 65% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0151515151515 0.0209618222197 72% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0185185185185 0.0139019557991 133% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3380.0 2387.08602151 142% => OK
No of words: 535.0 408.028673835 131% => OK
Chars per words: 6.31775700935 5.86048508987 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.48200974243 107% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.375700934579 0.338922669872 111% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.315887850467 0.251872472559 125% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.231775700935 0.174417080927 133% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.140186915888 0.112833075102 124% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92568806001 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.428037383178 0.524397521467 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.5860724603 59.2087087015 84% => OK
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6684587814 87% => OK
Sentence length: 29.7222222222 20.5533526081 145% => OK
Sentence length SD: 96.7908047107 48.84282405 198% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 187.777777778 120.699889404 156% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.7222222222 20.5533526081 145% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.833333333333 0.644075263715 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.54480286738 144% => OK
Readability: 61.311007269 45.7405998639 134% => OK
Elegance: 1.18857142857 1.45489161554 82% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.335657801762 0.300154397459 112% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.17154555117 0.103427244359 166% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0726720500161 0.0752933317313 97% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.549274485232 0.497263757937 110% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.169064953408 0.151897553556 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.158670579666 0.114077575197 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0895644289417 0.0781384742642 115% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.449784973695 0.336927656856 133% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0518368122364 0.067059652881 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.253387656635 0.210909579961 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0194801498299 0.0618886996521 31% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8870967742 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.86379928315 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.91756272401 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 9.0 8.42114695341 107% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 2.4623655914 284% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 18.0 13.6433691756 132% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Less content wanted. Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.