TPO-13 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, in the technological advance era, the communication of people is one of the most important issues. The vast majority of people think in this condition it is very difficult to communicate people who have a relationship such as a grandparent, cousins and so on many other believe extend family is a part of the nuclear family. I entirely agree with first group because nowadays families are very busy and every family has different condition in compare with the past. My argument for this point is listed as follows.
First of all, today every family have lots of problems and they do not have more time to communicate with other people. Most of the families especially people who live in a big city, have several jobs and occupations. They have a critical condition because to make more money and responsible to their families .For example, a family who lives in a very crowded city, every member of this family has a role and they go to work or university or elsewhere, at the end of the day all member are exhausted and do not like to connect other people such as cousins. Additionally, most of the families are many problems and most of the time it is impossible for them to communicate other people especially extended family as the relationship.
In addition, most of the families have a different condition by jobs, universities, houses and so on when a family should live in a city which is far from of extended family, it is difficult to improve the relationship .Moreover, some families live in a deprived home that does not have an enough money, food or good living condition and these families do not have any opportunity to communicate with grandfather or cousins .Hence, families have different conditions and the most things that related to the relationship are the job, home and so on.
On the other hand, most families in the past did not have lots of problems like today's people and the communication between each other was very strong because of they did not have a sophisticate technology and the people was not very busy and they were satisfy and kind. Therefore, the extend family for every family was a nuclear family and most families had a close relative.
To summarize, I believe that the communication between humans is very important nowadays family do not like to spend time as fun with extend families unfortunately family are very busy and the relationship between families become decline because the conditions of families are different.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 309, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... money and responsible to their families .For example, a family who lives in a ver...
^^
Line 3, column 311, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...oney and responsible to their families .For example, a family who lives in a very c...
^^^
Line 4, column 219, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...is difficult to improve the relationship .Moreover, some families live in a depriv...
^^
Line 4, column 220, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
... difficult to improve the relationship .Moreover, some families live in a deprived home ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 423, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... communicate with grandfather or cousins .Hence, families have different condition...
^^
Line 4, column 425, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...ommunicate with grandfather or cousins .Hence, families have different conditions and...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 152, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_I[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'because they' instead.
Suggestion: because they
...tion between each other was very strong because of they did not have a sophisticate technology ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 254, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'satisfied'.
Suggestion: satisfied
... people was not very busy and they were satisfy and kind. Therefore, the extend family ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 282, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... they were satisfy and kind. Therefore, the extend family for every family was a nuclear f...
^^^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['first', 'hence', 'if', 'moreover', 'so', 'therefore', 'for example', 'in addition', 'such as', 'first of all', 'on the other hand']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.25601750547 0.229887763892 111% => OK
Verbs: 0.144420131291 0.158761421928 91% => OK
Adjectives: 0.107221006565 0.0866891130778 124% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0590809628009 0.046263068375 128% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0284463894967 0.0685040099705 42% => OK
Prepositions: 0.122538293217 0.118717715034 103% => OK
Participles: 0.00656455142232 0.0351676179071 19% => Some participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.81609216584 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0262582056893 0.0309702414327 85% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.118161925602 0.0887237588012 133% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00218818380744 0.0209618222197 10% => Some modal verbs wanted.
WH_determiners: 0.0153172866521 0.0139019557991 110% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2482.0 2387.08602151 104% => OK
No of words: 425.0 408.028673835 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.84 5.86048508987 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48200974243 101% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.331764705882 0.338922669872 98% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.247058823529 0.251872472559 98% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.183529411765 0.174417080927 105% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.117647058824 0.112833075102 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81609216584 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.402352941176 0.524397521467 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 43.1868856232 59.2087087015 73% => OK
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6684587814 58% => OK
Sentence length: 35.4166666667 20.5533526081 172% => OK
Sentence length SD: 133.887675767 48.84282405 274% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 206.833333333 120.699889404 171% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.4166666667 20.5533526081 172% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.916666666667 0.644075263715 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.54480286738 162% => OK
Readability: 60.1225490196 45.7405998639 131% => OK
Elegance: 1.66037735849 1.45489161554 114% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.336102799558 0.300154397459 112% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.167327168554 0.103427244359 162% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0940868310273 0.0752933317313 125% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.672103067942 0.497263757937 135% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.213111577622 0.151897553556 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.182224194311 0.114077575197 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0656899989517 0.0781384742642 84% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.444916821166 0.336927656856 132% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0759916924998 0.067059652881 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.25485776826 0.210909579961 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0273344494831 0.0618886996521 44% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8870967742 42% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.86379928315 155% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.91756272401 20% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 5.0 8.42114695341 59% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 2.4623655914 203% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.75985663082 36% => OK
Total topic words: 11.0 13.6433691756 81% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.