06/10/2017
People succeed because of their hard work, but some say it is something else that is significant for success.
How far do you agree with this statement?
Give some reasons from your personal knowledge or experience to support your stance?
Many aver individuals achieve their success due to hard work; however, others cast doubt on his point of view and believe something else may be crucial for becoming successful. Below both prospects will be discussed in details.
On the one hand, working hard has an influence on person’s performance at a workplace. Firstly, moving steadily and purposefully in one direction allows an individual to get expertise, knowledge and knacks in his field of work, having those skills and experiences makes the person valuable for an employer; thus, the worker will likely be noticed by management and promoted to a more responsible position with higher pay. Secondly, a hard-working folk has certain personal traits such as strong will, determination, willingness to take responsibility for consequences of his actions and destiny. When applied to work those listed characteristics make their owner attractive for being promoted to well-paid positions inside company’s hierarchy and it is usually associated with achieving success. In other words, it is safe to assume that working intensively correlates with success.
On the other hand, it appears that some circumstances may affect achieving successfulness. Primarily, being born in a wealthy family shortens one’s path to advancement because a child of a well-off family will probably have better child care, food that is rich in nutrition and high-quality education; moreover, usually such a family will have many acquaintances who are owners of businesses, entrepreneurs, politicians and pundits; thus, a member of such family has better job opportunities and connections that pave his the way to achieving success. Furthermore, luck is often seen as a prerequisite for becoming a wealthy and famous individual. In fact, blind luck that puts a human being in the right place at the right time appears to be one of the most significant factors that allows someone become successful. For instance, a thoughtful study of biographies of remarkable folks reveals that almost every of them had a moment of pure fortune that let them begin a career or make a discovery. Consequently, being lucky and having family connections impact person’s chances of succeeding.
In conclusion, although hard working definitely correlates with success other factors such as luck and family ties are important for achieving desirable goals.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: On the other hand, it appears that some circumstances may affect achieving successfulness.
Error: successfulness Suggestion: No alternate word
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flaws:
Need to read the topic carefully, look:
Give some reasons from your personal knowledge or experience to support your stance
while examples are from others.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1956 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.301 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.025 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.357 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.914 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Yes, better not to use
Yes, better not to use personal experiences in all essays except when we are asked for. We just need to change a little bit of the examples, like:
I was promoted to be a manager because of my hard work.
One of my classmates got rich because of his father or won a lottery.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 369, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...h a family will have many acquaintances who are owners of businesses, entrepreneurs, po...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, such as, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 24.0651302605 87% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2030.0 1615.20841683 126% => OK
No of words: 369.0 315.596192385 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.50135501355 5.12529762239 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20050643755 2.80592935109 114% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 176.041082164 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.585365853659 0.561755894193 104% => OK
syllable_count: 627.3 506.74238477 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 106.938304739 49.4020404114 216% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 145.0 106.682146367 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3571428571 20.7667163134 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.2142857143 7.06120827912 187% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.67935871743 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.155069408854 0.244688304435 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0588786907695 0.084324248473 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0390831490775 0.0667982634062 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104733001436 0.151304729494 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0368038741401 0.056905535591 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 13.0946893788 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 50.2224549098 73% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 11.3001002004 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.92 12.4159519038 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.33 8.58950901804 109% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 78.4519038076 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.