23. The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe. "A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment." Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author states that Jazz muysic club in monore is extremely pooular and profitable club In monore. The author also says that most people arrive to see the jazzs annual festivel and they spend more more on the jazz entertainment so the jaz club is going to open its next club on the monore city. The authors assumption is rofe with holes and sufficient evidence is required to make the assumption warrented.
Firstly, the author assumes that jass club is most profitable club and most people come to see the annual jazz clubs festival every year. The author fails to give the information that how much it earns in the year. Does the new opening jazz club will be prefered more than previous opened jazz club. If more people come to new jazz club, then the new club will also get more profitand the authors assumption is valid. If not then it under mines the argument. The second thiing is that Are all people who atended the jazz’s annual festival are from anly monore or are from outside? If the people who came at jazz’s festival are only fom monore then the author’s assumption Is warrented. If the people who came at the festival are from outside the monore then it is invalid.
Secondly, the author also highest rated radio program in the monore is jazz nightly and it airs evry weekly at 7 pm. The author fails to find the observation that people who listen the radio program listen as by their interest or iu nthat time other programs donot come so they have to listen that program. I they listen the radio program by their interest then the author assumption is valid otherwise not.
Moreover, the author also assumes that jazz’s fans spend more than 10,000 on the jazz entertainment. He fails to observe that do the fans spend monyey only on jazz entertainment or on othr things like eating, drinking, etc.If they spend only on the jazz entertainment then the authors assumption is true otherwise not.
Is sum, the author needs to find out the many many evidences to make his/her assumption valid otherwise it is invalid.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1643 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.539 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.27 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.035 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.392 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 196, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: more
...he jazzs annual festivel and they spend more more on the jazz entertainment so the jaz cl...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 196, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'more' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: more
...he jazzs annual festivel and they spend more more on the jazz entertainment so the jaz cl...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 299, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... open its next club on the monore city. The authors assumption is rofe with holes a...
^^^
Line 1, column 303, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...n its next club on the monore city. The authors assumption is rofe with holes and suffi...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 389, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...w club will also get more profitand the authors assumption is valid. If not then it und...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 418, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...fitand the authors assumption is valid. If not then it under mines the argument. T...
^^
Line 2, column 581, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e from anly monore or are from outside? If the people who came at jazz’s festival ...
^^
Line 2, column 686, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...n the author’s assumption Is warrented. If the people who came at the festival are...
^^
Line 4, column 224, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
... othr things like eating, drinking, etc.If they spend only on the jazz entertainme...
^^
Line 4, column 278, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...only on the jazz entertainment then the authors assumption is true otherwise not. Is ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 42, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: many
...s sum, the author needs to find out the many many evidences to make his/her assumption va...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.9520958084 15% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1691.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 360.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.69722222222 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35759705821 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.419444444444 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 519.3 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.5190766745 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.4705882353 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1764705882 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.64705882353 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157456780178 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0659370921307 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0703908405327 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0871369945762 0.128457276422 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0705008178731 0.0628817314937 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 48.3550499002 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.98 12.5979740519 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.18 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 98.500998004 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.