According to a poll of 200 charitable organizations, donations of money to nonprofit groups
increased by nearly 25 percent last year, though not all charities gained equally. Religious
groups gained the most (30 percent), followed by environmental groups (23 percent), whereas
educational institutions experienced only a very small increase in donations (3 percent). This
poll indicates that more people are willing and able to give money to charities but that funding
for education is not a priority for most people. These differences in donation rates must result
from the perception that educational institutions are less in need of donations than are other
kinds of institutions.
The author of the argument is convinced that the perceptions that education institutions are less in need of donations might have lead to discrepancies in the donations when compared to other sectors. The notion is based on the poll results of 200 charitable organisations posits that the money to non profit groups though increased by 25 percent than the previous year, saw unequal share in gains in various sectors, with the religious and environmental groups fairing better than the educational instituitions. The author seems to base his argument on some unwarranted assumptions that are discussed as following.
What was the age range of the donors and were they reported by the charitable organizations in the poll? Perhaps, the donations to charitable organizations are made by settled and established individual organizations and lesser by the younger generation who understand the importance of education far better. Since the younger generations are not yet settled or established properly, they are unable to donate or donate in pittances. The author should investigate the demographic of the donors of the charitable organisations so as to better simulacrum that how much of the population might have certain reservations towards religion based on their orthodox upbringing in their previous generations.
The author fails to provide a quantification for the usual last year's donations so that the percentages can be used to compare the actual increase of donations in the various sectors. It might be possible that the donations are education were high enough that the a significantly larger increase in donations ( even larger than the religious instituitions) reflects as a mere 23 percent. Thus the percentages are a relative measure and shows how the sectors have gained in respective to their previous standings but is vague when used to compare with others. The author can interpolate the absolute donation figures of the previous years to give an absolute picture of the increases in each sectors that can then be used for a meaningful comparison.
Lastly, it is possible that the people don't prefer donating to educational instituitions because educational instituitions unlike religious insitituitions and environmental groups charge money. The education industry is based on a non-profit model though certain organizations are. This could rather be the root cause, that explains the notion, why people would donate less to this sector. It might thus be possible that people don't relagate education in the triage and rather it is because the education instituitions are seem to be well enough without donations. The author fails to consider this and the assumptions fails short to explain the above reasoning.
In sum, the argument stands weak as of now. The author should gather more information on the demographic of the donating population and also the donation sums of the previous years to draw meaningful parallels between the different non-profit sectors. The author can make a cogent case if he/she is succesful in corporating the above mentioned evidences to the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 491 350
No. of Characters: 2582 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.707 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.259 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.074 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 86 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.466 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.311 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.052 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 514, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ter than the educational instituitions. The author seems to base his argument on so...
^^^
Line 2, column 526, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... donors of the charitable organisations so as to better simulacrum that how much of the ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 261, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: the; a
...ons are education were high enough that the a significantly larger increase in donati...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 309, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gnificantly larger increase in donations even larger than the religious instituit...
^^
Line 3, column 387, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...tuitions reflects as a mere 23 percent. Thus the percentages are a relative measure ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 40, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... Lastly, it is possible that the people dont prefer donating to educational institui...
^^^^
Line 4, column 428, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
.... It might thus be possible that people dont relagate education in the triage and ra...
^^^^
Line 4, column 523, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'seemed'.
Suggestion: seemed
...because the education instituitions are seem to be well enough without donations. Th...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, lastly, so, then, thus, well, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2617.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 488.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.36270491803 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70007681154 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10026220489 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459016393443 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 827.1 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.5857029023 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.736842105 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6842105263 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.63157894737 5.70786347227 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.215855462151 0.218282227539 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0618628214504 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0793794580354 0.0701772020484 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118552280929 0.128457276422 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0766236368488 0.0628817314937 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.3550499002 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.