In the reading, the author suggests that the diet contains dairy products might increase possibility of osteoporosis, because of the result of an experiment indicating the relatively high rate of people with the high-dairy diet who have the bone fractures compared compared to people who do not eat dairy-rich food. However, the absence of several evidence weakens its credibility.
The author suggests that the people who eats high dairy food, according to the result of the experiment, are more likely to suffer from bone fractures, and since the bone fractures are one of symptoms of osteoporosis, the dairy diet would increase the possibility of osteoporosis. However, this assertion failed to prove that the high dairy diet cause the increase risk of osteoporosis. The reason lies in the fact that the bone fractures, one of the osteoporosis's symptoms, could be triggered by other diseases rather than the osteoporosis. Therefore those subjects might not suffer from the osteoporosis, leave alone the idea that the high dairy food would lead to the osteoporosis.
Moreover, the sample number and the average age of the participants are missing, making the conclusion less convincing. As the reading mentioned, the risk of osteoporosis increase as one grows older, so the age of different groups, let us call the high dairy diet group and low dairy diet group, is a determining factor. If the high dairy diet group are more older than the low dairy diet group, say the former is averagely 20 years older than the latter, the conclusion would be flawed since it overlooked the difference between the age distribution of two groups. Additionally, the author only pointed out the number is very large, yet we do not know the exact number of the samples.
Finally, the author failed to constrain the factors which could cause great effect on the result. The evidence of similar life style of the participants is absent in the reading, while it could be a decisive factor to the result. The people who like exercise could have distinct health condition compared to those people who sit all the day in the office. Without constraint on the participants' life style, the experiment result is dubious.
To wrap it up, the missing of several crucial evidence in the reading make the conclusion groundless. In order to strengthen the reading, more evidence about the relationship between the bone fracture and the osteoporosis are needed, as well as the the detail of the experiments such as the exalt participating number and the range and the average of the age of different group. Finally, other important factors such as the life style of the participants should be provided, since without that, the result could be flawed.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2221 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.936 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.709 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.471 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.528 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 257, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: compared
...-dairy diet who have the bone fractures compared compared to people who do not eat dairy-rich foo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 341, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun evidence seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some evidence'.
Suggestion: some evidence
...airy-rich food. However, the absence of several evidence weakens its credibility. The author ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 543, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... diseases rather than the osteoporosis. Therefore those subjects might not suffer from th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 355, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'older' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: older
...actor. If the high dairy diet group are more older than the low dairy diet group, say the ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 383, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'participants'' or 'participant's'?
Suggestion: participants'; participant's
...n the office. Without constraint on the participants life style, the experiment result is du...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 246, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...the osteoporosis are needed, as well as the the detail of the experiments such as the e...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 246, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...the osteoporosis are needed, as well as the the detail of the experiments such as the e...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 288, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...e the detail of the experiments such as the exalt participating number and the range and ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, look, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, while, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2283.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 450.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07333333333 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81912428396 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.437777777778 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 719.1 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.511291885 57.8364921388 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.294117647 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4705882353 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.64705882353 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17060210532 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0510321829567 0.0743258471296 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.064954932864 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.097650894273 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.078907521634 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.