In the modern society, the function of education is increasingly concerned. While I agree that formal education truly restricts youngsters mind to some extent, the benefits of traditional education also exist in many aspects.
It's true that education restrains students mind to some degree. Firstly, from elementary school to college, some subjects contains enormous knowledge to memorize. Those memorization occupies considerable time, and thus there a limited time left for students to creative and relax. To illustrate, the majority of college students in Chinese must have suffered from high educational school entrance exam, which requires students' command of detailed knowledge in several subjects. Therefore, Chinese students are short of critical thinking ability, which is crucial in future career and one's own development. Moreover, formal education tends to unify individuals, which might be harmful to diversity. For instance, in China, students in school are supposed to wear the school uniform, which, according to teachers, presents the equity of the classmates. However, these atmosphere are likely affect individual and cause one's fear of being different with others, eliminating diversity and damaging ones potential. Finally, sometimes formal education might be politics-oriented. It can reals from politics subject in the high school of some countries, both developing countries as China and developed countries as Japan.
Although formal education has constraint on students critical thinking and diversity, the benefit it brings slightly overcomes it disadvantages. Firstly, formal educations act as a stepping stone to higher education and sophisticated knowledge. These facts learned from formal education play a necessary role for farther study, such as Newton’s law of gravitation, basic body structure in biology, and fundamental tools and concept of mathematic. To illustrate, these theory and fact might outdated or disputed by new theories and research in their field, but it offers a basic theoretical framework for students to understand, helping students to find the discipline they really interested in. Secondly, some subjects demands and encourages students to thinking creatively, like art, literature, and computer programming. As a student major in computer programming, I have to admit that while the mathematic and understand of different software is essential to a programmer, the ability of creative thinking decides the upper bound a programmer can reach. The computer language just offers feature and tool but not instruct one how to design a program. Therefore creative ability is needed in order to design one’s own work.
To sum up, I concede that traditional education limits youngsters’ minds in some aspects to a certain degree, nevertheless the traditional education has more advantages than its negative effects.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 164, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this memorization' or 'Those memorizations'?
Suggestion: This memorization; Those memorizations
...ontains enormous knowledge to memorize. Those memorization occupies considerable time, and thus th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 861, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this atmosphere' or 'these atmospheres'?
Suggestion: this atmosphere; these atmospheres
... the equity of the classmates. However, these atmosphere are likely affect individual and cause ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 917, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
... are likely affect individual and cause ones fear of being different with others, el...
^^^^
Line 3, column 994, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ers, eliminating diversity and damaging ones potential. Finally, sometimes formal ed...
^^^^
Line 5, column 468, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this theory' or 'these theories'?
Suggestion: this theory; these theories
...d concept of mathematic. To illustrate, these theory and fact might outdated or disputed by ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1160, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...t instruct one how to design a program. Therefore creative ability is needed in order to ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, while, for instance, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.5258426966 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 33.0505617978 57% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2471.0 2235.4752809 111% => OK
No of words: 426.0 442.535393258 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.80046948357 5.05705443957 115% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09497939978 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 215.323595506 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.589201877934 0.4932671777 119% => OK
syllable_count: 775.8 704.065955056 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.5505779529 60.3974514979 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.666666667 118.986275619 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2857142857 23.4991977007 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57142857143 5.21951772744 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154880590233 0.243740707755 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0537766377433 0.0831039109588 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0651159992462 0.0758088955206 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115240848581 0.150359130593 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0326840649922 0.0667264976115 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.1392134831 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.26 48.8420337079 70% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.5 12.1743820225 111% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.36 12.1639044944 134% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.11 8.38706741573 121% => OK
difficult_words: 148.0 100.480337079 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.