In the reading, the author suggests that the advantages of using the electronic database to store the medical record in USA instead of using paper, which was refuted by the professor in the lecture as uncertain.
Firstly, the author suggested that the using the electronic database could help to save the money on storing the paper medical records. However, the professor indicates that even the doctor who like to use electronic medical record would first write down in the paper. Then it could be transferred into the electronic version. Since those paper would contain some critical information it still need to be stored properly. As for the convenience of copying and faxing, it is restricted by the related laws and is not practical. Therefore, it cannot reduce the cost.
Secondly, the author points out that the electronic medical record could reduce the error in the medical record. In contrast, the professor in the record insists that since the doctor write down the medical record at the first, and the handwritten medical record would be transcripted by stuffs to the electronic version, the misinterpretation can still happen. Therefore, the electronic database cannot prevent medical record errors.
Finally, the author suggests that the electronic database could contribute to the research since it could gather great scale of data of past patients. Nevertheless, the professor claims that since strict privacy laws of USA, it is still hard to use that data. If researchers would to use that data, by following the restrictions, they have to apply for a great number of permission and even the permission of individual patient, which could be very hard and messy. Therefore, it can hardly contribute the medical research since the patient information is still hard to find.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 328, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ransferred into the electronic version. Since those paper would contain some critical...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 395, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'needs'?
Suggestion: needs
...tain some critical information it still need to be stored properly. As for the conve...
^^^^
Line 5, column 199, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sts that since the doctor write down the medical record at the first, and the han...
^^
Line 7, column 293, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t data. If researchers would to use that data, by following the restrictions, the...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, as for, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 10.4613686534 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 5.04856512141 297% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 5.0 7.30242825607 68% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 12.0772626932 99% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 22.412803532 80% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 30.3222958057 139% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1509.0 1373.03311258 110% => OK
No of words: 290.0 270.72406181 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20344827586 5.08290768461 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12666770723 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75392056494 2.5805825403 107% => OK
Unique words: 131.0 145.348785872 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.451724137931 0.540411800872 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 466.2 419.366225166 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 3.25607064018 154% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.25165562914 240% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.51434878587 66% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 21.2450331126 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.0605331547 49.2860985944 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.785714286 110.228320801 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7142857143 21.698381199 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.71428571429 7.06452816374 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.52969353584 0.272083759551 195% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.199632632864 0.0996497079465 200% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.142479718626 0.0662205650399 215% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.345795933762 0.162205337803 213% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.140287759892 0.0443174109184 317% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 13.3589403974 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 53.8541721854 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.0289183223 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.88 12.2367328918 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.42419426049 98% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 63.6247240618 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.7273730684 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.498013245 95% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.2008830022 116% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.