closing the shop at 6:00 PM
The author’s argument of implementing the changes in the other nine stores as implemented in the downtown store is many ambiguous assumptions and fails to mention several factors on basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.
First of all the author need to answer the question that by reducing the operating cost at the downtown store, did it improved the profit or it made more loss than the previous operating strategy. As it could be the case that closing the shop at 6:00 PM may lead to very little sales of the rental videos. Hence, the proper analysis of the profit percentage needs to be mentioned after the implication of new changes.
The location of the other nine stores is not mentioned. The demographic location of the nine stores needs to answer by the author. The same rule might not be implicated to the store located in the countryside. Furthermore, it could be the case that most of the customers visit the store after 6:00 PM. This would further reduce the profit of the store. Hence proper data about the customer visiting the store need to take into account before implementing the change.
Moreover, the percentage of the people preferring old movies also might vary from place to place. Hence, the store in downtown might have less sales of old movies but in other place people tends to but the old movies. It may due to the age group of people living around. Hence, it is very important for author to answer about the population age distribution in the location where the store is located. This could also be very crucial befor coming to a strong conclusion of implementing the same changes t all the nine stores.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed due to the above-mentioned reasons and therefore implausible. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts to support the conclusion that the similar changes in other stores would help in gaining more profit.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 358 350
No. of Characters: 1691 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.35 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.723 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.969 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 132, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e stores needs to answer by the author. The same rule might not be implicated to th...
^^^
Line 5, column 354, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...further reduce the profit of the store. Hence proper data about the customer visiting...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1740.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 356.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88764044944 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34372677135 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69547611114 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.466292134831 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 541.8 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.821169642 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.5789473684 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7368421053 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52631578947 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.512474822124 0.218282227539 235% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.151926229267 0.0743258471296 204% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.178761319754 0.0701772020484 255% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.31159367171 0.128457276422 243% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.250390619025 0.0628817314937 398% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.