The director of the International Health Foundation recently released this announcement:
"A new medical test that allows the early detection of a particular disease will prevent the deaths of people all over the world who would otherwise die from the disease. The test has been extremely effective in allowing doctors to diagnose the disease six months to a year before it would have been spotted by conventional means. As soon as we can institute this test as a routine procedure in hospitals around the world, the death rate from this disease will plummet."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on the assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The following argument is flawed for various reasons. Primarily, the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that diagnosis and recovery from a deadly disease are the same, rendering the main conclusion that implementation of the test equals proportional death rate invalid.
The argument fails to provide any justification that the detection rate will be matched with the treatment and recovery rate. For one, it is expedient to know the level of capabilities and resources available and its effectiveness compared to the required resources needed to ensure efficient and equity treatment from the disease. If the available resources and technical know how required for effective delivery of treatment is not sufficient to deliver quality health services to the diagnosed patients, then the assumption that diagnosis will placate death rate is without basis. Had the argument provided adequate information on the resources available to cater for people who are down with the disease, even then the argument will have to further prove that the treatment given is sufficient to cure the disease.
The argument also leaves many unanswered questions such as the success rate using the conventional means and the expected success rate should the new means of diagnosis be implemented. The argument has not successfully showed the gap it is aspiring to close or the target it aims to achieve. Nonetheless, the argument assumes that early detection will account for reduced death, this clearly leaves us with doubt of weather a late diagnosis commensurate deaths.
Finally, the arguments claims without warrant that early detection will assuredly lead to increase in death without explaining how the health work force has prepared for the increase in patients which will result from increase in diagnosis rate
Because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make a convincing case that as soon as the new test is instituted as a routine procedure in hospitals around the world, the death rate from this disease will plummet
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 323 350
No. of Characters: 1705 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.239 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.279 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.807 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.3 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.681 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.41 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.657 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 8, column 238, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eath rate from this disease will plummet
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, if, nonetheless, so, then, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1742.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 323.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.39318885449 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23936324884 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85035260339 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.50773993808 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 544.5 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 110.361949965 57.8364921388 191% => OK
Chars per sentence: 174.2 119.503703932 146% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.3 23.324526521 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.4 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156630101518 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0595963263277 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.056344771914 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100643267095 0.128457276422 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0365667281367 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.1 14.3799401198 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 30.54 48.3550499002 63% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.0 12.197005988 139% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.57 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.48 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.