Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall stu

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Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

This article argued that Omega University should stop using the evaluation system which they implemented five years ago. This argument based on the following reasons: the high performance on students’ grades was considered to be inflated, the competitiveness between Omega graduates and Alpha University’s graduates decreased, and it’s the university’s responsibility to terminate the evaluation system to ensure student’s get better jobs. However, these arguments failed to organize these arguments with sufficient illustrations.

First of all, there is a leap between the evaluation system and the high performance on students’ grades. It can be a coincidence that the high grades appeared after Omega University employee the evaluation system. The reason for student’s high grades vary, such as: those students entered Omega University within these years can be smarter than before, or the professor develop different activities to measure students’ grades. The change of the grade’s averages is not necessarily linked to the evaluation system.

Second, the statement that because the inflation of students’ performance decrease the competitiveness between Omega and Alpha University is lacked of evidence. It need more evidence to explain why Alpha graduates are successful at getting jobs than Omega did. These two university can provide different courses, to be more specific, Omega University can be the school that focused on theoretical than practical tasks. Thus, the criteria to compare these two university need to be explicated.

Third, the negative effect on evaluation system is inadequate. It stated that the assumption of inflation and low rate of employment of Omega University graduates was contributed to the implement of evaluation. Yet the consequences of the evaluation system should be measured by a wide range of scale, such as: the improvement of efficiency on professors’ teaching, how it effect on the students’ learning, and the relationship between job-required skills and skills students learned. The overall concepts should be considered.

Notwithstanding it is the university’s responsibility to secure graduates to get better jobs, the author cannot blame all the faults on one reason, an insufficient reason. To build a solid statement, the author need sufficient illustrations to crack the leaps which mentioned above.

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Sentence: Yet the consequences of the evaluation system should be measured by a wide range of scale, such as: the improvement of efficiency on professors' teaching, how it effect on the students' learning, and the relationship between job-required skills and skills students learned.
Description: The fragment it effect on is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace effect with verb, past tense

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 352 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.331 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.557 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.706 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.271 7.5
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5