In this memo, Omega University’s dean recommends that they should end the system of evaluation of professors by the students in order to ensure better jobs for their students. To support his or her recommendation he cites that their students’ average grade has increased by thirty percent since they implemented the process of evaluation of professors by the students. He or she also stated that the employers of Omega University believe that this increase in grade is an inflation, and this inflation is negatively effecting the students at being as successful as those of Alpha University at securing better jobs. However, the recommendation relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
To begin with, the dean readily attributed the thirty percent increase in average grade to the procedure of evaluation of professors they implemented fifteen years ago. Considering the time have passed since the implementation of that procedure, the dean overlooks the possibility that 30% increase can be attributed to any other factors. It is not a surprise when students’ average increases over the time. It is entirely possible that the quality of teaching has increased during that time period which is actually responsible for the 30% increase in average grades of the students. If this is the case, the recommended acquisition would not serve the university’s goal.
To further substantiate his recommendation, the dean noted that employers of Omega University consider this increase in average grade as inflation, which, employers think, is responsible for graduates not getting better jobs. However, he or she did not provide any evidence to substantiate this assumption. Even if this increase is an inflation, it does not necessarily indicate that the students of Omega University are not qualified for better jobs. Higher grade does not necessarily be the only factor depending on which students get better jobs. Omega University’s students might be failing to meet some other requirements that competitive jobs require. If the above it true, then the dean’s argument does not hold water.
Also the dean of Omega University went further to compare their students with those of Alpha University at getting better jobs, and he or she assumes that students of Alpha University are securing better jobs compared to those of Omega University because of the process of evaluation of professors that was implemented fifteen years ago. Perhaps, students of Alpha University better at securing better jobs because they tend to meet all the requirements that companies want, not just the academic grade. Even it can also be possible that Alpha University’s grade system is more inflated than that of Omega University but their students being better at getting better jobs attributed to the learning environments, their professors’ teaching quality, and other important factors that affects the quality of a students. Since the dean fails to rule out these and other possible explanations for Alpha University students being better at ensuring better work, I cannot accept any conclusions about the comparison between Alpha and Omega University.
In conclusion, the dean cannot make justify his or her recommendation on the basis of the scant evidence provided in the memorandum. To bolster his or her recommendation, the dean must provide better evidence that the 30% increase in average grade is attributable to the policy they took 15 years ago (and not to any other factors), that academic excellency is the only requirement that is needed to get a better job, and that Omega University students are comparable to those of Alpha University.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 585 350
No. of Characters: 3042 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.918 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.2 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.941 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 215 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 177 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 136 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 88 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.671 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.371 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...dean’s argument does not hold water. Also the dean of Omega University went furth...
^^^^
Line 7, column 806, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a student' or simply 'students'?
Suggestion: a student; students
...ant factors that affects the quality of a students. Since the dean fails to rule out these...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, look, so, then, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 28.8173652695 226% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3127.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 585.0 441.139720559 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.3452991453 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9180050066 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05060635579 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.377777777778 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1008.0 705.55239521 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 83.5913556489 57.8364921388 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.904761905 119.503703932 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8571428571 23.324526521 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.71428571429 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.322752069321 0.218282227539 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112065583551 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0846906533221 0.0701772020484 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.196894130562 0.128457276422 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0726517081806 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 14.3799401198 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 48.3550499002 74% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.