The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.
"Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures."
The author claims in the above argument that his interview-centered approach is much more effective comparative to the Dr. Field’s observation centered approach . The main reason behind this conclusion is that his recent interview with the Tertia children reveals spending much more time with their biological parents than other adults in their village . However ,careful scrutiny about the evidence related to the claim reveals that it has some flaws and unstated assumptions which maybe not true. So without answering this assumptions, the argument is flawed and unsubstantiated.
It needs further evidence to make it more convincing to the reader.
First of all, the author did not specify about the number of Tertia children he interviewed . If the number is small , he can get a biased answer . To answer that they spend much more time in discussing parents than adults of their village needs a large number of interview data .Only interviewing a small number of children ,we can not get proper result. So ,there is flaw here.
Secondly , the author did not specify about the type of questions he asked to the children .Without knowing much about the interview questions ,we can not be fully assure about his conclusion. Proper interview question analysis is needed to come up with a conclusion. Because only spending much more time talking about the biological parents than their other adults in the village does not fully prove that they are reared by biological parents . The interview questions are needed to fully evaluate the claim otherwise we cannot say the conclusion is flawless.
Furthermore, the author does not give enough info about the children who gave the interview . Do they live in the island of Tertia now or they have moved to nearest island ? It they moved ,maybe their behavior has been changed a lot . So ,taking interview about them will not give a proper idea about their behavior. So , the author has flaws in this respect also.
In conclusion , although at first it seems likely to be true that Tertia children are reared by their biological children due to the claim by the interview of the author , careful scrutiny of the evidence presented by the author reveals that it has some unwarranted assumptions . So to validate this conclusion the author needs to provide more evidence to his interview questions like the type of interview questions , no of interviewing children , enough data about the children family etc. Otherwise we can not say this is valid argument according to the evidence presented here.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 417 350
No. of Characters: 2068 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.519 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.959 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.619 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.955 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 161, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...r. Field’s observation centered approach . The main reason behind this conclusion ...
^^
Line 1, column 353, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...rents than other adults in their village . However ,careful scrutiny about the evi...
^^
Line 1, column 363, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... other adults in their village . However ,careful scrutiny about the evidence rela...
^^
Line 1, column 521, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ch maybe not true. So without answering this assumptions, the argument is flawed and...
^^^^
Line 4, column 92, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...number of Tertia children he interviewed . If the number is small , he can get a b...
^^
Line 4, column 117, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... he interviewed . If the number is small , he can get a biased answer . To answer ...
^^
Line 4, column 146, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...er is small , he can get a biased answer . To answer that they spend much more ti...
^^
Line 4, column 163, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...can get a biased answer . To answer that they spend much more time in discussing ...
^^
Line 4, column 248, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ents than adults of their village needs a large number of interview data .Only interviewing a sma...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 280, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e needs a large number of interview data .Only interviewing a small number of chil...
^^
Line 4, column 282, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Only
...needs a large number of interview data .Only interviewing a small number of children...
^^^^
Line 4, column 300, Rule ID: SMALL_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, use 'a few', or use 'some'
Suggestion: a few; some
...er of interview data .Only interviewing a small number of children ,we can not get proper result....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 326, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... interviewing a small number of children ,we can not get proper result. So ,there ...
^^
Line 4, column 360, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ildren ,we can not get proper result. So ,there is flaw here. Secondly , the au...
^^
Line 6, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ult. So ,there is flaw here. Secondly , the author did not specify about the ty...
^^
Line 6, column 91, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...pe of questions he asked to the children .Without knowing much about the intervie...
^^
Line 6, column 93, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Without
... of questions he asked to the children .Without knowing much about the interview quest...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 100, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...stions he asked to the children .Without knowing much about the interview questio...
^^
Line 6, column 144, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...owing much about the interview questions ,we can not be fully assure about his con...
^^
Line 6, column 270, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...is needed to come up with a conclusion. Because only spending much more time talking ab...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 446, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...at they are reared by biological parents . The interview questions are needed to f...
^^
Line 8, column 92, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...bout the students who gave the interview . Do they live in the island of Tertia no...
^^
Line 8, column 155, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'to the nearest'.
Suggestion: to the nearest
...island of Tertia now or they have moved to nearest island ? It they moved ,maybe their beh...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 188, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... moved to nearest island ? It they moved ,maybe their behavior has been changed a ...
^^
Line 8, column 233, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...be their behavior has been changed a lot . So ,taking interview about them will no...
^^
Line 8, column 238, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...eir behavior has been changed a lot . So ,taking interview about them will not giv...
^^
Line 8, column 307, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... will not give a proper idea about their behavior. So , the author has flaws in t...
^^
Line 8, column 321, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... a proper idea about their behavior. So , the author has flaws in this respect al...
^^
Line 8, column 361, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
... , the author has flaws in this respect also. In conclusion , although at first i...
^^^^
Line 10, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s in this respect also. In conclusion , although at first it seems likely to be...
^^
Line 10, column 170, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...the claim by the interview of the author , careful scrutiny of the evidence presen...
^^
Line 10, column 278, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...that it has some unwarranted assumptions . So to validate this conclusion the auth...
^^
Line 10, column 417, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ons like the type of interview questions , no of interviewing children , enough da...
^^
Line 10, column 420, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
... like the type of interview questions , no of interviewing children , enough data ...
^^
Line 10, column 447, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... questions , no of interviewing children , enough data about the children family e...
^^
Line 12, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing to the evidence presented here.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, in conclusion, talking about, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2132.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 417.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11270983213 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5189133491 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72169308458 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.414868105516 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 653.4 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 66.2896140068 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.523809524 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8571428571 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.14285714286 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 36.0 5.25449101796 685% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0780887252463 0.218282227539 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0253734760822 0.0743258471296 34% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0336594250851 0.0701772020484 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0439084203079 0.128457276422 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.027678437526 0.0628817314937 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 98.500998004 72% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.