Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take In developing and su

Essay topics:

Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Education is one of the basic need in this modern world and people can learn through formally by educational institutions. Yet, some argue that this formal education restrains people mind and impedes the way of free thinking. The above prompt recommends that this education tries to restrain people’s mind. I mostly disagree with this point of view for the following three reasons.
To begin, it is true that through informal education, we can learn the basic things necessary for the practical life. Also technological things is available in the internet. People can learn from Youtube, Coursera, Khan Academy etc. There is plethora of resource available on the internet. That’s why we can see that many successful person in the world are actually college or university dropout. But they acquired knowledge on their own. For instance, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was also a Harvard University dropout. But he passed school, college level education. So, without completing formal education he has become a one of the most successful man in the world, also one of the richest man in the world. But there is a point that we need to notice. That is those who are dropout also took formal education of school, college level. That is he needed a minimum education to learn from informal education. So, maybe the dropouts felt that they were not finding interest in their formal education. That is true. So, we can say that sometimes formal education may be uninteresting and people can learn their preferred subject or topic through informal way.

However, minimum formal education is needed to become a good human being. Social norms and behaviors are learned effectively through formal learning. Because when one is child, he or she have not the capability to think what needs to be learned. So by formal education he can learn from his teacher how they talk, how they behave. Passing time with the classmates also ensure the social growth of a child. Also, child likes to learn in a group, they like to play with the fellow child. This type of environment is only possible in formal education. In this case, we can say that it does not restrain the mind rather it allows the child to learn social behaviours effectively. At least some minimum formal education is need to become a good social being, to understand what is good , what is wrong.

In conclusion, some argue that many successful people did not complete formal education, so it is unnecessary. But didn’t they complete some levels of formal education? Some levels of formal education is at least needed. Also, most scientist and distinguished people of the world has taken formal education. They achieve Excellency through formal education. With formal education people can learn many technical and scientific things. It actually set their mind open to think about many versatile things that may be unknown to him if he did not take formal education. So, I mostly disagree with the prompt.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 118, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...hings necessary for the practical life. Also technological things is available in th...
^^^^
Line 3, column 770, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...t that we need to notice. That is those who are dropout also took formal education of s...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 188, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
...g. Because when one is child, he or she have not the capability to think what needs ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 781, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...social being, to understand what is good , what is wrong. In conclusion, some a...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, may, so, at least, for instance, in conclusion, it is true

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 33.0505617978 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 12.9106741573 186% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2478.0 2235.4752809 111% => OK
No of words: 494.0 442.535393258 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01619433198 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71445763274 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61480484299 2.79657885939 94% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 215.323595506 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.443319838057 0.4932671777 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 763.2 704.065955056 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 6.24550561798 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 36.0 20.2370786517 178% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 23.0359550562 56% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.0398365108 60.3974514979 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 68.8333333333 118.986275619 58% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 13.7222222222 23.4991977007 58% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 2.55555555556 5.21951772744 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 19.0 4.83258426966 393% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.542120536826 0.243740707755 222% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.142498475952 0.0831039109588 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.155853443566 0.0758088955206 206% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.412017793041 0.150359130593 274% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.223112314321 0.0667264976115 334% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.1 14.1392134831 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.74 48.8420337079 137% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 12.1743820225 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 11.24 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.16 8.38706741573 85% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 100.480337079 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.2143820225 64% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.