The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the above argument it is stated that owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental store, suggests that reducing operating expenses of his nine store can reverse the effect of declined profit. The recommendation is based on the fact that one of his store on Downtown Marston has reduced their expense by closing early and reducing its stock. Thus he thinks it may help regain his profit. To evaluate this recommendation fully, there are some questions that we need to answer.
First of all, is downtown Marston comparable to other nine store? They may have different category customer compared to downtown Marston. Like, customers may come at the other nine rental store later 6 PM. Thus if the store is closed early, they will lose huge customers. So. The author should provide more evidence about the customer type and their timing. Otherwise, we cannot say that it will be effective to implement the above recommendation to other nine stores. Because different stores may have different type of category of customers. Like, if it is located near school or university, it will have more customer in the daytime. On the other hand, if it is near residential area, it have more customer in the night time. So the claims need to provide more information about the place of the nine store to make it an effective move.
Secondly, is the author sure about the fact that the customers do not prefer the movies that are released more than five years ago? May be there is some famous movies that are released five years ago, has more popularity than the recent released movie. So without giving enough survey about the customer’s choice, we cannot fully evaluate the step of reducing stock. Also without knowing the more about the customer’s choice of the other nine stores we cannot say that it will be effective to the same to other stores.
Furthermore, why the closing time is reduced 3 hours for downtown Marston? Why is not the other timing? The author does not provide evidence to this effect. Maybe reduction of closing time of 2 hours is more effective to the downtown Marston .Similarly same goes to other stores. Without knowing the proper analysis of the expense of the different time period, we cannot say that it will be fruitful for reversing the effect on the profit.
In conclusion, the recommendation needs more credible evidence to support the conclusion. Without answering the above questions, the recommendation is unsubstantiated.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 416 350
No. of Characters: 1987 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.516 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.776 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.537 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.575 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.654 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.484 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 348, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...y closing early and reducing its stock. Thus he thinks it may help regain his profit...
^^^^
Line 3, column 207, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...the other nine rental store later 6 PM. Thus if the store is closed early, they will...
^^^^
Line 3, column 470, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ve recommendation to other nine stores. Because different stores may have different typ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 692, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'has'?
Suggestion: has
...and, if it is near residential area, it have more customer in the night time. So the...
^^^^
Line 5, column 368, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ly evaluate the step of reducing stock. Also without knowing the more about the cust...
^^^^
Line 7, column 242, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...s more effective to the downtown Marston .Similarly same goes to other stores. Wit...
^^
Line 7, column 244, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Similarly
...more effective to the downtown Marston .Similarly same goes to other stores. Without know...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 244, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Similarly,
...more effective to the downtown Marston .Similarly same goes to other stores. Without know...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...recommendation is unsubstantiated.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, may, second, secondly, similarly, so, thus, in conclusion, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2060.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 416.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.95192307692 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63908590392 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.432692307692 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 664.2 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.7266523211 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.4 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.64 23.324526521 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.8 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17312968418 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0493764875059 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0674209925519 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101013726207 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0919734439323 0.0628817314937 146% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 14.3799401198 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.47 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.