In the business section, the author concludes that Perkins Pharmaceuticals will be the most profitable company and its new drug will be more popular among those patients who suffer from arthritis. To support his argument, the author tries to make a comparison between two kinds of the drugs produced by two different pharmaceutical firms, however, the comparison does not contain sufficient evidence to bolster his argument. Besides, the author fails to substantiate his argument based on some unwarranted assumptions and unconvincing explanations, which weakens the recommendation in every aspect.
To begin with, the author ignores other feasible method to treat arthritis. Firstly, the given information does not explicitly point out the extent of severity of arthritis, it only says some form of arthritis, which means that people might only get some small symptoms and do not need to take any medicine. Thus, the arguer cannot prove that drugs from each company could be so necessary for the treatment. There is a variety of ways to help people from being suffered by arthritis. For example, people could have yoga lessons or do exercise everyday to accelerate the speed of blood and strengthen their bones condition. Or perhaps, they just only to participate in outdoor activities with the sunshine shedding from the sun, which can save people a lot of money. In addition, any kind of drug always has some amount of side effects people are not familiar with. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's conclusion remains dubious at best.
Secondly, the author fails to provide any evidence to prove that the quality of the drug from each of two companies. Even though many analysts believe that people will buy the drugs for the treatment of arthritis, it does not provide any convincing statistics that the drugs manufactured by the two companies are effective in curing arthritis. Moreover, people prefer purchasing Xylan rather than Xenon, which does not necessarily indicate that the quality of overall drugs produced by Becton company is worse than Perkins company. The given information also mentions that 7 out 10 patients suffering from the most extreme cases of arthritis choose Xylan, which does not necessarily point out that Xylan has the same effect on other less severe cases of arthritis. Nobody wants to take the medicine that does not work well for their health. Without taking these into consideration, the arguer's conclusion remains untenable as it stands.
Thirdly, The author fails to do a lot of research about other new drugs treatment for arthritis in ten years, then, hastily drawing the conclusion. With the development of advanced technology and medical treatment, there is a myriad of advanced clinical experiments will work on the treatment for arthritis. Hundreds of thousands scientists and medical professors are making huge efforts in creating more healthier drugs for people to take if they have the symptoms of arthritis. However, these two drugs will be totally left behind in the aspect of being effective and healthy. Without ruling out these scientific researching results, the argument remains unconvincing as it stands.
All in all, if the trend that more and more people will suffer from arthritis, doctors and scientists will devote their time and energy in making people feel better and live healthier. Companies cannot only pursue the huge profit and forget to advance the quality of their drugs, which will bring about undesired consequence. Patients also need to go to the hospital and see the doctor before they hastily purchase any kind of medicine. If the author could co-write with more scientists and doctors, then, the conclusion will be more persuasive than it is now.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 602 350
No. of Characters: 3075 1500
No. of Different Words: 280 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.953 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.108 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.629 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 225 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 170 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 118 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 76 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.212 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.654 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 544, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... could have yoga lessons or do exercise everyday to accelerate the speed of blood and st...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 910, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...out ruling out these possibilities, the authors conclusion remains dubious at best. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 887, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'arguers'' or 'arguer's'?
Suggestion: arguers'; arguer's
...ut taking these into consideration, the arguers conclusion remains untenable as it stan...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 401, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'healthier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: healthier
...ors are making huge efforts in creating more healthier drugs for people to take if they have t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 562, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...will be more persuasive than it is now.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, well, for example, in addition, kind of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3148.0 2260.96107784 139% => OK
No of words: 602.0 441.139720559 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2292358804 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.95335121839 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72227056988 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 286.0 204.123752495 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475083056478 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 960.3 705.55239521 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.78618598 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.076923077 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1538461538 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.07692307692 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.118236084839 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0351071608298 0.0743258471296 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0280381867999 0.0701772020484 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0716404442343 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0319559790729 0.0628817314937 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 145.0 98.500998004 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.