In the application, the developer makes a strong proposal that the demand for a jazz club in Monroe is very great in the present and investing a jazz club business will bring a huge amount of profit in the future. To bolster his appeal, he cites several facts and assumptions, which seems at first glance convincing. However, with a close inspection, this deal is full of questionable and controversial points. If the business load could be approved to grant, it is imperative for the applicant to provide essential answers to these following questions needed to be raised.
To begin with, the applicant fails to offer any strong evidence to prove that the scale of Monroe's jazz market is super huge. First, the fact that over 100,000 people attended jazz festival last summer does not necessarily indicate that people in Monore are fervent fans of jazz. Besides, it also does not imply that people who like to participate in musical carnival are willing to join in the jazz club for entertainment. Second, the highest-rate radio program indeed brings a lot of fun for residents. However, we are not informed that these listeners are the fans who like to be a member of jazz club. In addition, if there is a choice for people not to go outside and simultaneously enjoy the joy brought by jazz program, they will definitely pick this option. Although there are several well-known jazz musicians in Monroe, it does not mean that they agree to help the club attract more customers to take part in the club. There is a strong possibility that they only perform national-level shows and will not patronize those obscure jazz clubs. Without taking these into consideration, the proposal remains dubious at best.
Secondly, there is no guarantee that investing the jazz club will be extremely profitable. For example, those people strongly might not choose to listen to jazz music in the club if they are required to pay for the admission fee. Perhaps, they prefer playing the radio and listening to the program at home for free. Or perhaps, Attending the festival is one of their working place bonus or is one of the public affairs administered and funded by the local government, which local residents can enjoy the privilege without paying. Because the applicant does not mention any further information about the festival. And the study that crazy jazz fan spends so much money on jazz does not illustrate that how much of the expenditure goes to the jazz club. So without ruling out these probabilities, jazz club cannot boast its prosperity in the future.
Finally, the applicant does not provide any persuasive evidence that local residents are capable of maintaining the interest in loving jazz. Since jazz is one of the classical musical styles, it demands highly aesthetic ability to appreciate its charm. Fans of club need to be cultivated the sense of jazz music and offered consistent jazz lessons, which could start to love this kind of hobby. However, the nearest jazz club is far away, which means that local residents are not really lovers of jazz. There is a strong possibility that they will lose the interest in jazz. This can also indicate that jazz business can not last for a long period of time.
All in all, if the applicant really want to set up his own jazz business, he needs to spend a lot of time and energy in discovering potential hobbyists and nurturing their increasing fondness of jazz. Without thinking about these plans, jazz business will be abortive in the future soon. Investing needs to take a risk but also needs to anticipate those imminent challenges.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 611 350
No. of Characters: 2917 1500
No. of Different Words: 295 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.972 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.774 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.556 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.069 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.652 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.655 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.453 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 531, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...can enjoy the privilege without paying. Because the applicant does not mention any furt...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ot boast its prosperity in the future. Finally, the applicant does not provide ...
^^^
Line 7, column 642, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...t jazz business can not last for a long period of time. All in all, if the applicant reall...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 132, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... a lot of time and energy in discovering potential hobbyists and nurturing their...
^^
Line 9, column 153, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ergy in discovering potential hobbyists and nurturing their increasing fondness ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, finally, first, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, well, for example, in addition, kind of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 28.8173652695 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2990.0 2260.96107784 132% => OK
No of words: 611.0 441.139720559 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89361702128 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.97176167858 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63436370321 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 293.0 204.123752495 144% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479541734861 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 924.3 705.55239521 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.4680405601 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.103448276 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0689655172 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58620689655 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 22.0 8.20758483034 268% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300567654787 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0863023234226 0.0743258471296 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750609484635 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183137255432 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0552585876635 0.0628817314937 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 98.500998004 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.