The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
"Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness- related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this argument the author claims that when the economy situation will improve the levels of fitness will does by giving of expenditure on fitness has pointed low. However, the measure seems plausible, this argument depends on several unsubstantiated assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First, the argument state that there were one-half of Corpora’s citizens met the standards of adequate physical fitness in twenty years ago. However, this data might not clear. In order to corroborate this conclusion, the author ought to point out exact time interval of research. This is because people might be moved during the period of times during the research terms and this can mislead the conclusion of data even it is not true. Therefore, author should demonstrated the exact time interval and movement of citizens between the two researches.
Furthermore, the argument assert that using computers has made decline of fitness and increase number of inadequate physical fitness standards. Although, this data is true, author should demonstrate clear relations between the use of computers and declining of fitness. This is because, increase using of computers is nature phenomena when the worlds are changing as computer centered work environments rather than using paper and textbooks. Therefore, author need to state exact explanation of relation between those two factors because world trends can weaken the authors’ assumption.
Finally, the author maintains that by low expenditure of fitness, only economic growth can help to increase level of fitness. However, this is not clear that people will spends more money when they earns more. This is because, people might want to use their money on other area as traveling or in the worst case they can spend time with drinking. Also, expenditure of fitness are not only reasons for to make adequate standards of physical level. There are other ways to enhance their standard, such as hiking and exercising at the park. Therefore, further evidences are required to corroborate his or her statement.
In sum, the authors assumption that economic increase will help fitness level might be logically flawed based on the above mention reasons. To strengthen his or her argument, the author should closely examine all the conditions and possible factors. In conclusion, the author’s argument reflects unsupported claims without clear reasons or evidence.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1993 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.259 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.599 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.95 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.581 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.062 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 108, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'do'
Suggestion: do
...will improve the levels of fitness will does by giving of expenditure on fitness has...
^^^^
Line 7, column 171, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'spend'
Suggestion: spend
...ver, this is not clear that people will spends more money when they earns more. This i...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 199, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'earn'
Suggestion: earn
...people will spends more money when they earns more. This is because, people might wan...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 13, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...te his or her statement. In sum, the authors assumption that economic increase will ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, furthermore, however, so, then, therefore, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2059.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 379.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.4327176781 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7160022499 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519788918206 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 629.1 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.486920445 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 102.95 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.95 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117078293295 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.042584277794 0.0743258471296 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0966859961129 0.0701772020484 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0631055183757 0.128457276422 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0593801175814 0.0628817314937 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.21 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.