The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora.
“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora’s citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year’s unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.”
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the health magazine, the author refutes the claim of the medical experts by stating that computer usage among the citizens of Corpora is not the reason for the decline in fitness level. The author bases his/her assumption on the reasons that Corpora has the highest fitness levels in the regions where computer ownership is also high. Also, the decline in fitness levels was correlated with a decrease in the sales of fitness related products and services which in turn is due to economic decline, stating that fitness levels will pick up when the economy improves. The conclusion drawn by the author seems to hold water. However, it rests on several unfounded assumptions as indicated above. If these assumptions are unsubstantiated, they dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument. Thus, the following three questions must be answer.
First, the author assumes that because the region where computer ownership is highest also have the highest fitness level, then computer usage does not result in a decline in fitness level. A closer observation will reveal that computer ownership does not equate computer usage. While it is expected that a computer owner will use their computer, nothing can guarantee that the usage will be high. It is even possible that computer owners rarely use their computer since it is always accessible while non-computer owners will tend to spend more time using public computers since they can’t always access it. The time then spent in using public computers could have been used in improving their fitness levels. If this is discovered to be true, then the assumption is substantially flawed and cannot be used as a basis for the conclusion drawn.
Furthermore, the author assumes that because the sales of fitness related products and services are low then the fitness levels of the citizens must be low. While this may be plausible, there is no guarantee that it is. The fitness products purchased previously could still be used for fitness training. Also, not all fitness training or exercise are dependent of fitness products and services. Taking a jog or doing squats are fitness exercise that help to improve ones overall fitness levels without the need for fitness products or services. Also, it could be that the weather in Corpora in recent times have made it difficult for outdoor fitness training or exercise. If the weather is not suited for outdoor fitness training or exercise, then this could also be a reason for the decline in the sales of fitness related products or services. If any of the aforementioned is found to be true, it significantly reduces the validity of the assumption made by the author.
Lastly, it was assumed by the author that the decline in economic activity is directly correlated with the decline in the fitness levels of Corpora citizens, and that fitness levels will improve when the economy improves. There is no hard data or research that corroborates this assumption by the author. Often times, when there is an overall improvement in the economy of a region, it means the citizens have more disposable income. With more disposable income, they tend to buy more gadgets and go for vacations. All of which could result in a lower fitness level as many may forget to pay attention to their fitness level in the midst of a surplus but rather be focused on the new gadgets or exotic foods money can buy. If this is also found to be true, again the assumption made by the author is flawed and it’s persuasiveness significantly affected.
In conclusion, while the author may have come up with a reasonable conclusion regarding the fitness levels and computer usage of the citizens of Corpora, more tested and proven assumptions are needed before a definite conclusion can be made.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 630 350
No. of Characters: 3083 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.01 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.894 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.59 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 235 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 178 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.741 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 468, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...e fitness exercise that help to improve ones overall fitness levels without the need...
^^^^
Line 7, column 571, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much may', 'a good deal of may'.
Suggestion: much may; a good deal of may
...ould result in a lower fitness level as many may forget to pay attention to their fitnes...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 704, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'foods'' or 'food's'?
Suggestion: foods'; food's
...be focused on the new gadgets or exotic foods money can buy. If this is also found to...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, lastly, may, regarding, so, still, then, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3162.0 2260.96107784 140% => OK
No of words: 629.0 441.139720559 143% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02702702703 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.00798087137 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64723594226 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.384737678855 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1007.1 705.55239521 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.1261077449 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.928571429 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4642857143 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.96428571429 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138202329299 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0458580945296 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0516750209959 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0949081051943 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0426912669036 0.0628817314937 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 98.500998004 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.