The author argues in the health magazine that the reason behind the decline in the fitness levels among the citizens of Corpora is the recent decline in the economy, and that it the fitness levels will improve among with the economy. Stated in that way, the argument fails to consider several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. To justify this argument, the author reasons that the fitness levels of the citizens of Corpora have fallen due to the excessive low budget regarding fitness related products and service. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence provides little credible support for the author's conclusion.
Firstly, the author readily assumes that the population of Corpora has been the same for the last twenty years. This is an assumption made without any solid grounds. To justify this claim, the author reasons that the medical experts have stated that now only one-quarter of the citizens of Corpora meet the current health standards, while twenty years ago it was one-half. But this is a flawed argument. There is no solid evidence provided regarding whether the health standards have improved throughout the twenty years. If it had, then the study cannot be compared without extensive study. Also, it is quite natural that the population of Corpora has increased in all this time. So, the author needs to provide numbers, instead of fractions or percentages. For example, one-quarter of one hundred is twenty five, while one-half of ten is just five.
Furthermore, the author states that the claim that spending too much time using computers is not the reason behind the decline of the fitness levels of the citizens of Corpora, while it is actually the decrease in the budget regarding fitness. This again is a weak and unsupported claim as it does not demonstrate any correlation between the fitness budget and the fitness level. To illustrate further, there has been a study conducted by the Jawaharlal Nehru University that illustrates how increased use of computer have given rise to health issues in metropolitan cities, majorly to obesity.
Finally, the author uses the evidence that the regions of Corpora, where computer ownership is the highest, also recorded the highest overall fitness standards. Even if the author's claim regarding the fitness budget being the reason behind the decline tin the fitness is agreed with, careful scrutiny of the above argument raises skeptical doubts. We know that the computer ownership of those regions are high. But we do not know if the computer usage is high as well. It may just be the fact that the neighborhood is a wealthy one where every house has at least two computers in average. The author needs to provide answer to these doubts. Without that, the reader will be left with an impression that this is wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the author's argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the author needs to provide more clear concrete evidence, probably by the way of a detailed analysis of the comparison of the fitness levels of the two years.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 515 350
No. of Characters: 2535 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.764 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.922 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.474 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 207 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.984 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.471 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 622, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...rovides little credible support for the authors conclusion. Firstly, the author read...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 590, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...e has at least two computers in average.The author needs to provide answer to these...
^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...tantive evidence. In conclusion, the authors argument is unpersuasive as it stands. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, well, while, at least, for example, in conclusion, by the way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2599.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 514.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05642023346 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76146701107 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56080574862 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.470817120623 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 819.0 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.0208155514 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.291666667 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4166666667 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.625 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186480922629 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0521244564869 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0808248913968 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0990425826799 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101346388856 0.0628817314937 161% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.