The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author's argument that the citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles is convincing, but flawed. Various pieces of evidence are listed to support this claim, although each uses potentially invalid assumptions, which therefore indicates that the argument may ultimately not be sound. Some examples of questionable assumptions are that the increased amount of kiran sold is beneficial to health, that the reduction of sales of sulia is indicative of a healthy habit, and that the eating habits of Forsythe residents are telling of their overall health habits.
First, the statement that the sales increase of kiran is indicative of health is problematic. Although kiran was shown to reduce cholesterol, this doesn't mean that kiran is beneficial in all circumstances. Kiran may actually be detrimental by reducing the amount of "good cholesterol" present in those who eat it, which many health specialists consider to be a necessary component of a good diet. The author also doesn't mention how much kiran in eaten by the citizens of Forsythe, nor do they mention how much kiran is required to show the effect of reducing cholesterol. Because of this, the citizens may not be consuming nearly enough of this food to experience the potentially beneficial effects.
Similarly, the author makes a faulty assertion that sulia is an unhealthy food, and the reduced sales of it are indicative of a healthier lifestyle. However, the fact that few of the most healthy citizens eat this food means little. It very well may be the case that this food is not popular at all, so it isn't eaten regularly by most of the citizens in general, not just the most healthy. Alternatively, healthier citizens may not eat a lot of sulia for non-health reasons -- perhaps they just tend to have a dislike of the food for an unrelated reason.
Finally, the author doesn't assess other components of a healthy lifestyle. Facts about the citizens' habits of brushing and flossing their teeth, exercising, and other important components of well-being are not addressed, and therefore may vastly outweigh any potential benefits of the listed facts.
Overall, the statement that the citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles should not be taken at face value. To confirm this statement, more evidence would be necessary to support the assumptions regarding the health benefits of kiran, the detrimental effects of sulia, and many other factors of the citizens' lifestyles.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 2027 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.017 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.773 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.729 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.604 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors argument that the citizens of Forsythe ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...n was shown to reduce cholesterol, this doesnt mean that kiran is beneficial in all ci...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 424, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...mponent of a good diet. The author also doesnt mention how much kiran in eaten by the ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 307, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
... this food is not popular at all, so it isnt eaten regularly by most of the citizens...
^^^^
Line 7, column 21, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...nrelated reason. Finally, the author doesnt assess other components of a healthy li...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, regarding, similarly, so, therefore, well, in general
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2098.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 400.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.245 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90282026789 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4775 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 654.3 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.67365269461 418% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.6160758891 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.125 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.75 5.70786347227 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20530537505 0.218282227539 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0775824540786 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0805563671082 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130308182459 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0749603283738 0.0628817314937 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.