The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author of this paper has based his conclusion that the people of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyle founded upon the report of a health magazine which fails to explain the actual population of people in which the conclusion was surveyed from. The result could proof to be inefficient if the sample was drawn from a very small group as compared to the entire population thereby not having a full reflection of the true nature of thing.
Although it could be said that if a large population H follow through with the government’s nutritional recommendation and also increase their intake of Kiran then there could be a substantial increment that would prove that the people of Forsythe have adopted healthy lifestyle.
Additionally, the author maintain that the fact that people have adhered to the government nutritional recommendation they do so strictly without other personal additions or conflate. Could the case of the adherence with the government recommendation be tied to the total population or just a paucity of the population perhaps due to affordability of the nutritional proposal.
Furthermore, the author assumption suggests that since there has been an increase in the sales of food products containing Kiran, an substance that has shown to reduce cholesterol without the consideration that kiran itself might possess some other negative constituent that would not be favourable to the body. Also, the author in his bid to support his major point insist that since the trend of the increase in the sales of kiran can be traced to the decrease in sale of sulia a food that is hardly consumed by most healthy citizens, this is tantamount to a general case of healthy eating even though the reduce in the sale of sulia might be lined to the purchase of some other unhealthy food at that moment.
All told, the author has made several assumptions which could have been strengthen if he/she had done a robust statistic of the population of the people of Forsythe to be able to define how holistic his survey was and further proven that the people of Forsythe have strictly adhered to the government nutritional recommendation based on the statistics of regular groceries purchase.The author’s should have also explain if the people had moved to other alternative to sulia or not.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 385 350
No. of Characters: 1903 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.43 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.943 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.816 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 48.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.082 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.473 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.811 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 131, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ales of food products containing Kiran, an substance that has shown to reduce chol...
^^
Line 7, column 481, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'food'.
Suggestion: food
...traced to the decrease in sale of sulia a food that is hardly consumed by most healthy...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 605, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...eral case of healthy eating even though the reduce in the sale of sulia might be lined to ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 73, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'strengthened'.
Suggestion: strengthened
...veral assumptions which could have been strengthen if he/she had done a robust statistic o...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 383, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...tatistics of regular groceries purchase.The author's should have also explain ...
^^^
Line 9, column 418, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'explained'.
Suggestion: explained
...hase.The author's should have also explain if the people had moved to other altern...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, if, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1944.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 383.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07571801567 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92798162092 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.485639686684 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 612.0 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 19.7664670659 40% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 47.0 22.8473053892 206% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 101.624308116 57.8364921388 176% => OK
Chars per sentence: 243.0 119.503703932 203% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 47.875 23.324526521 205% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 3.875 5.70786347227 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165720752424 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0779653740348 0.0743258471296 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0602899963253 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102285303842 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0496488503498 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 26.4 14.3799401198 184% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 23.77 48.3550499002 49% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 21.6 12.197005988 177% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.07 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.51 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 20.8 11.1389221557 187% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.