The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this argument, the author claimed that the citizen of Forsythe have more healthful lifestyles. The argument seems to be some validity at the first glance, but we immediately found out there are several logical mistakes throughout the whole article. My reasons can be substantiated by the incoming comments.
The author says that the recent survey show that people of Forsythe conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years. However, the author have to provide more evidence about this issue. It is possible that the circumstances have changed from the years ago. The nutritional recommendations established ten years ago cannot be same effectiveness now. For example,
Moreover, the author says that the sales of food products containing Kiran has been increase. Still, it is not to say that the citizens of Forsyth have more healthful lifestyles are because of the increase of this food. For instance, what if the increase of the sales of this food is for export? Again, the author have to provide more evidence to this assumption.
The author claims that this trend also reduced sales of sulid which a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat. However, what if the most healthy citizens do not that food just because of their predilections. For example, if the sales of sulid decreased just because of their higher price, it is possible that people did not want to buy them to eat. It is not to say that the decrease of the sales of sulid is because of this trend.
To sum up, the author would have to provide more evidence in detail to make valid assumptions he said. Without such evidence, we cannot jump to the conclusion that the citizen of Forsythe have more healthful lifestyles. All in all, if the author provides more precise evidence and mends the logical mistakes, then the argument will be more persuasive.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 317 350
No. of Characters: 1525 1500
No. of Different Words: 147 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.22 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.811 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.623 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.233 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 400, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be same effectiveness now. For example, Moreover, the author says that the sales...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, still, then, for example, for instance, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1585.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 317.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21953715646 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70220164673 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.476340694006 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 495.0 705.55239521 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.7344730723 57.8364921388 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 88.0555555556 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6111111111 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22222222222 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.273333753456 0.218282227539 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.093900145191 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0988034661543 0.0701772020484 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151993248495 0.128457276422 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0583159225675 0.0628817314937 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.42 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 98.500998004 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.