The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of accidents caused by bicycling has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus there is clearly a call for the government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
While it seem that people feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risk and their is need to launch an eduction program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use by government. But there is lot of weakness in the arguement.
While it is stated that despite increase in use of helmets by people, there is increase in number of accidents by 200 percent during same ten year period but the number of accidents happened this year by all vehicles and a decade earlier is never mentioned. During last ten years,there has been significant increase in population. Population increase has waxed the number of vehicles on road to many folds. It was published in a news magazine, that there has been 400 percent increase in number of accidents during last nine year period. 200 percent increase in bicycle accidents are maybe due to increased number of bicycles.
Furthermore, earlier age limit to ride a bicycle on district lanes was 11 years, which was reduced to 8 years eight years ago. As reported by Times News Channel a larger number of accidents are caused by or caused due to children under eleven. Most of these accidents are not very serious. Government should increase the age limit back to 11 years as child younger then that are not matured enough to ride a bicyle on district lanes.
Moreover, earlier there were seprate lanes for motorcyclists and cyclists in the state. But due to increase in number of vehicles, there is no seprate lanes for cyclists. A large part of accidents are caused by motorcylists fault rather than cyclists fault which has nothing to do with helmets. And these accidents can not be avoided by teaching cyclists safety measures.
It can be seen from the studies that the number of a
Comments
Essay evaluation report
This is an argument essay not an issue essay.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 304 350
No. of Characters: 1420 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.176 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.671 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.439 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.118 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.357 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 100, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...ng helmets, and they take more risk and their is need to launch an eduction program t...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 182, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... year period but the number of accidents happened this year by all vehicles and a...
^^
Line 3, column 280, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , there
...s never mentioned. During last ten years,there has been significant increase in popula...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 357, Rule ID: COMPARISONS_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'younger than'?
Suggestion: younger than
...the age limit back to 11 years as child younger then that are not matured enough to ride a b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, may, moreover, then, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1453.0 2260.96107784 64% => OK
No of words: 303.0 441.139720559 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79537953795 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.17215713816 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55687198614 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 154.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.508250825083 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 453.6 705.55239521 64% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.7408789476 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.8125 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.9375 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156300958517 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0435821620922 0.0743258471296 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0489480160691 0.0701772020484 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0724185711429 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0424942747754 0.0628817314937 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 98.500998004 65% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.