The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The writer argues that over the past two years, there has been an decrease of business over past two years, and this is mainly because the popularity of skateboarding and number of skateboarders in Central Plaza have increased for past two years. While it may seem tempting at first glance, this argument has many unanswered questions to have predictied outcome as the writer hopes to achieve.
First, the writer unwarrantedly assumes that the downfall of their business in Central Plaza over past two years is mainly because of the increased number of skateboarders in the Plaza. There could be other reasons why the business is not as fruitful compared to two years ago. Increased number of skateboarders may not act alone as the key for this devestating effect. There might be a undergoing nationwide economic recession two years ago that keep goes on that makes customers to save their spendings. Moreover, there might be a new mall nearby that is better and cheaper in goods that they sell making the Central Plaza less competetive. We also need to question how is the business in the Plaza is decresing. We need to know whether number of the visiting customers are decreased or stores’ profit is in downfall because cost has increased. Maybe the stores in the Plaza are selling products that are not popular anymore.
Moreover, we need to know why liters and vandalls are increased in the Plaza. This is mainly because we need to know exactly why people are not visiting the Plaza compared to two years ago. If amount of liters and vandals have increased inside the Plaza and the surroundings of the Plaza, this factor alone can make customers to not to visit the Plaza. Moreover, if this change was dramatic compared to two years ago, the neighborhood people may have moved out of nearby town and that made the Plaza less lucrative. Other explanation is also possible. If liters and vandals are not cleaned out regularly, we need to ask whether the Plaza is properly managed. Customers usually less prefer malls that are not properly managed. If basic management was poor, then marketing efforts such as advertisement would have not promoted properly.
Last but not least, the Plaza should ask whether they are following trends in the market. As writer argued, the popularity of skateboarding had increased dramatically last two years and the number of skateboarders in the Plaza has also increased, while the profit of the Plaza has decreased, the stores in the Plaza are not following the trend: skateboarding. If the market has changed to pro-skateboarders, and the Plaza is not earning money as before, then they are failed to meet the trend. If this was the case, prohibiting the skateboarding itself will be a fiasco for the mall. We need to know that is trending the market at this moment. Moreover, at least many skateboarders are visiting the Plaza to skateboard, and the profit is in downturn, the stores might have wrong taget customers. We cannot assume whether people who enjoy skateboarding are the ones who do not have enogh purchasing power. We only know that there are many skateboarders. We need to know about them in more details, such as gender, income, age and so on. We cannot simply group them as “skateboarders.” They might be future customers, in other words.
In conclusion, we do not know the suggestion from the writer would have resulted in the result that the writer hoped to be. This is because there are so many unwarrented assumptions that the writer has made and those assumptions, not questioned reasonably, would have backfired. With thosed unanswered questions to such assumptions, there is less reason to follow the writer’s recommendation.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: While it may seem tempting at first glance, this argument has many unanswered questions to have predictied outcome as the writer hopes to achieve.
Error: predictied Suggestion: predicted
Sentence: Increased number of skateboarders may not act alone as the key for this devestating effect.
Error: devestating Suggestion: devastating
Sentence: Moreover, there might be a new mall nearby that is better and cheaper in goods that they sell making the Central Plaza less competetive.
Error: competetive Suggestion: competitive
Sentence: We also need to question how is the business in the Plaza is decresing.
Error: decresing Suggestion: decreasing
Sentence: Moreover, we need to know why liters and vandalls are increased in the Plaza.
Error: vandalls Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Moreover, at least many skateboarders are visiting the Plaza to skateboard, and the profit is in downturn, the stores might have wrong taget customers.
Error: taget Suggestion: take
Sentence: We cannot assume whether people who enjoy skateboarding are the ones who do not have enogh purchasing power.
Error: enogh Suggestion: enough
Sentence: With thosed unanswered questions to such assumptions, there is less reason to follow the writer's recommendation.
Error: thosed Suggestion: those
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 621 350 //less content wanted for every argument. write the essay in 30 minutes.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 621 350
No. of Characters: 2996 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.992 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.824 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.69 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 195 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.406 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.667 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.456 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 64, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...over the past two years, there has been an decrease of business over past two year...
^^
Line 2, column 385, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...this devestating effect. There might be a undergoing nationwide economic recessio...
^
Line 4, column 955, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...know that there are many skateboarders. We need to know about them in more details...
^^
Line 4, column 1038, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... such as gender, income, age and so on. We cannot simply group them as 'skate...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, moreover, so, then, while, at least, in conclusion, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3089.0 2260.96107784 137% => OK
No of words: 621.0 441.139720559 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97423510467 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.991980728 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92720936936 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.3961352657 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 959.4 705.55239521 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 4.96107784431 302% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.9090106693 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.6451612903 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0322580645 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.29032258065 5.70786347227 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300691834112 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0799793417744 0.0743258471296 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0899260380375 0.0701772020484 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.186799342703 0.128457276422 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0985293696418 0.0628817314937 157% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.