The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government,
industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim.
In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or
examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Whenever people argue that history is a worthless subject or that there is nothing to be gained
by just “memorizing a bunch of stupid names and dates,” I simply hold my tongue and smile to
myself. What I’m thinking is that, as cliche as it sounds, you do learn a great deal from history
(and woe to those who fail to learn those lessons). It is remarkable to think of the number of
circumstances and situations in which even the most rudimentary knowledge of history will turn
out to be invaluable. Take, for example, the issue at hand here. Is it better for society to instill in
future leaders a sense of competition or cooperation? Those who have not examined leaders
throughout time and across a number of fields might not have the ability to provide a thorough
and convincing answer to this question, in spite of the fact that it is crucial to the future
functioning of our society. Looking closely at the question of leadership and how it has worked in
the past, I would have to agree that the best way to prepare young people for leadership roles is
to instill in them a sense of cooperation.
Let us look first at those leaders who have defined themselves based on their competitiveness.
Although at first glance it may appear that a leader must have a competitive edge in order to gain
and then maintain a leadership position, I will make two points on this subject. First, the desire to
compete is an inherent part of human nature; that is, it is not something that needs to be
“instilled” in young people. Is there anyone who does not compete in some way or another every
single day? You try to do better than others in your school work or at the office, or you just try to
do better than yourself in some way, to push yourself. When societies instill competitiveness in
their leaders, it only leads to trouble. The most blatant example in this case is Adolf Hitler, who
took competition to the very extreme, trying to prove that his race and his country were superior
to all. We do not, however, need to look that far to find less extreme examples (i.e., Hitler is not
the extreme example that disproves the rule). The recent economic meltdown was caused in no
large part by the leaders of American banks and financial institutions who were obsessed with
competing for the almighty dollar. Tiger Woods, the ultimate competitor in recent golfing history
and in many ways a leader who brought the sport of golf to an entirely new level, destroyed his
personal life (and perhaps his career - - still yet to be determined) by his overreaching sense that
he could accomplish anything, whether winning majors or sleeping with as many women as
possible. His history of competitiveness is well documented; his father pushed him froma very
early age to be the ultimate competitor. It served him well in some respects, but it also proved to
be detrimental and ultimately quite destructive.
Leaders who value cooperation, on the other ahnd, have historically been less prone to these
overreaching, destructive tendencies. A good case in point would be Abraham Lincoln. Now, I
am sure at this point you are thinking that Lincoln, who served as President during the Civil War
and who refused to compromise with the South or allow secession, could not possibly be my
model of cooperation! Think, however, of the way Lincoln structured his Cabinet. He did not want
a group of “yes men” who would agree with every word he said, but instead he picked people
who were more likely to disagree with his ideas. And he respected their input, which allowed him
to keep the government together in the North during a very tumultuous period (to say the least).
My point in choosing the Lincoln example is that competitiveness and conflict may play better to
the masses and be more likely to be recorded in the history books, but it was his cooperative
nature that allowed him to govern effectively. Imagine if the CEO of a large company were never
able to compromise and insisted that every single thing be done in exactly her way. Very quickly
she would lose the very people that a company needs in order to survive, people with new ideas,
people ready to make great advances. Without the ability to work constructively with those who
have conflicting ideas, a leader will never be able to strike deals, reach consensus, or keep an
enterprise on track. Even if you are the biggest fish in the pond, it is difficult to force your will on
others forever; eventually a bigger fish comes along (or the smaller fish team up against you!).
In the end, it seems most critical for society to instill in young people a sense of cooperation. In
part this is true because we seem to come by our competitive side more naturally, but
cooperation is more often something we struggle to learn (just think of kids on the playground).
And although competitive victory is more showy, more often than not the real details of
leadership come down to the ability to work with other people, to compromise and cooperate.
Getting to be President of the United States or the managing director of a corporation might
require you to win some battles, but once you are there you will need diplomacy and peopleskills.
Those can be difficult to learn, but if you do not have them, you are likely to be a shortlived
leader.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: His history of competitiveness is well documented; his father pushed him froma very early age to be the ultimate competitor.
Error: froma Suggestion: from
Sentence: Leaders who value cooperation, on the other ahnd, have historically been less prone to these overreaching, destructive tendencies.
Error: ahnd Suggestion: hand
Sentence: Getting to be President of the United States or the managing director of a corporation might require you to win some battles, but once you are there you will need diplomacy and peopleskills.
Error: peopleskills Suggestion: people kills
Sentence: Those can be difficult to learn, but if you do not have them, you are likely to be a shortlived leader.
Error: shortlived Suggestion: No alternate word
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flaws:
No. of Words: 934 350
1. the introduction is too long
2. the conclusion is too long, and don't argue any more in the conclsuion
3. too many examples.
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what to do next:
make introduction and conclusion shorter
make 3-4 arguments
one example for one argument in one paragraph is enough
follow this user:
http://www.testbig.com/users/sauvikb
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 35 15
No. of Words: 934 350
No. of Characters: 4238 1500
No. of Different Words: 415 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.528 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.537 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.579 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 271 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 199 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 79 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.686 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.857 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.486 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.239 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.37 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.161 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 59, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...rizing a bunch of stupid names and dates,' I simply hold my tongue and smile to ...
^^^^^^
Line 16, column 91, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is, it is not something that needs to be 'instilled' in young people. I...
^^^
Line 56, column 1, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this can' or 'Those cans'?
Suggestion: This can; Those cans
... will need diplomacy and peopleskills. Those can be difficult to learn, but if you do no...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, so, still, then, well, for example, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 45.0 19.5258426966 230% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 38.0 14.8657303371 256% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 33.0 11.3162921348 292% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 100.0 33.0505617978 303% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 138.0 58.6224719101 235% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 4480.0 2235.4752809 200% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 932.0 442.535393258 211% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80686695279 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.52527601527 4.55969084622 121% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75057930004 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 431.0 215.323595506 200% => Less unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.462446351931 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1399.5 704.065955056 199% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 25.0 6.24550561798 400% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 15.0 1.77640449438 844% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 15.0 4.38483146067 342% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 20.2370786517 168% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 23.0359550562 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.9273552355 60.3974514979 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.764705882 118.986275619 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.4117647059 23.4991977007 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.61764705882 5.21951772744 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 56.0 4.97078651685 1127% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 5.13820224719 272% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.196991497594 0.243740707755 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0543401824005 0.0831039109588 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0718380936948 0.0758088955206 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0416596231198 0.150359130593 28% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0657824864266 0.0667264976115 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.1392134831 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.8420337079 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.1743820225 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.1639044944 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 189.0 100.480337079 188% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.2143820225 114% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.